It was at that moment of realization that my twin set out to discover if there were others who had or were going through what they had. The revelation was shocking . Since they had understood what the language of a depressed person was, they were on the look out. Several cases struck my twin.
There was case of a lady who had been left by her boyfriend. This lady confided in my twin that upon telling her closest friend, the comments she got was they are not twelve like the disciples. You shall soon get another. The lady went on to tell my twin that though that was true it wasn't what she wanted to hear. When she confided in her friend it was because she had known all the efforts she had put into growing the relationship to the level they had come. That was what was breaking her not even the boyfriend leaving her. She felt stupid for putting herself on the line for a man she was not to have a future with.
Then there was a case of a man who was now living under the shadow of his parents and wife. This man had stayed close to two years without a job and yet he was a qualified engineer. Those he interacted with told him start a business and be independent. Others went on to offer him capital to start a business. What they didn't seek to know however was why this man was crushed. The man was crushed because he didn't feel man enough not being able to provide for his family. In addition, he had spent so many years in school studying for the course. The thought that all that was in-vain devastated him.
Then there was this boy and girl who were in high school and were also struggling with suicide. Their case was made worse by the fact that whenever they sort to have a conversation with their parents about how difficult life was in their present school, the parents dismissed them . They had an opinion formed in their mind that they were just being troublesome. While in actual sense was the boy was being forced into homosexuality while the girl it was bhang.
My twin finally had discovered why the society loses its friends and loved ones to suicide and summarized them as follows:
1. Majority of the people are not willing to listen to the victim.
2. Many want to offer solutions without understanding what is triggering the suicidal thoughts.
3. Majority don't view it as a sickness, they think its something that with a snap of a finger can be wished away.
4.Majority think the persons are attention seekers or weaklings.
5. Majority don't understand that each suicidal case is different from another.
6. Majority don't understand that lots of patience is needed when dealing with a suicidal person.
7. Majority think people are cursed.
8. Others think a person is being weak and lazy.
With this revelation, my twin set out on a mission to get better not just for themselves, but for others that could be struggling. My twin understood that they went through that struggle to help others. It is also through my twin that I have learnt on what I like to refer as traffic control. Traffic control involves taking 5 minutes every hour to check what I was thinking about. What is good I keep. What is bad and negative , I find what is positive in it for the sake of my sanity.
Its also through my twin that I learnt on a gratitude diary. Its a diary that helps me focus on the good that is happening around me. The revelation my twin got is all the negative we continue to watch and listen has a way of getting into our minds . The results of which could be low moods that later lead to depression which if severe and unattended leads to suicide or all these diseases manifesting themselves in the world today.
I hope we could all work towards listening to persons that are suicidal and in a not judgemental way or trying to compare them to others experiencing "worse" cases because in the eyes of a suicidal person they see their issues in an exaggerated way. Nothing you can compare to shall be equal to the reason for suicide. So yes one has lost a child and can get another, but its not that simple. Yes one has failed an exam and can always retake the exam, but its not that simple. Yes one has fallen out with their long time partner and can survive without them or get a better one, but its not that simple at that moment.
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