Witchcraft and Witches ; Mystery Unraveled

Oh my goodness! someone has dispersed witchcraft to you. 😲Things can't be going the way they are going for you, some witch somewhere is responsible for your present circumstances. Did you say your child is no longer performing well in school?😡 Your neighbour has dispersed something to your child. Did you say you lost your job and now you have lost your business? There are dark forces being thrown your path. That is why you can't get a job and your business has collapsed. You have stagnated on that project for so long there must be some witchcraft that has been dispersed to you. Did you say that the well known engineer is now picking papers on the road? This witchcraft is real I tell you. You mean people can be so evil, that engineer someone threw him demons (Mtu alimrushia mapepo)? I tell you he need deliverance. These are some of the conversations I have heard from several persons when things are not going in the positive direction they need to.

For readers of the Bible, 1 Timothy 4:1 says: " The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons." and  James 2:19 says: " You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." Allow me to make reference to the Bible because being a Christian it is the Holy Book I know and make reference to. It is also the Book that governs how I live my life. My understanding of the Bible is its the manual for everything I need to know about life. 

Making reference to the verses I have quoted above,  I am convinced that many have abandoned their faith and are following the deceiving spirit and the things taught by demons. That is why rather than deal with the issues surrounding them they would rather spread the gospel of demons being in authority.When we continuously tell each other of demons, witchcraft and witches, do we have time to tell each other about God? My experience whenever the demon topic comes to be is that I experience fear, even walking alone in darkness is a problem because thoughts of demons coming to attack me are real. The stories that I have have heard shall be on my mind and cause fear. Why then are we so comfortable talking about demons and witchcraft than talk more on God?

We are simply escapists. The devil knows we don't want to deal with the realities of life . Based on this understanding, he brings the ideas of witchcraft to explain our evil self. Once we blame an evil force, we find no need to change our ways. We therefore shall not make things right with God. 

We can't squander our finances then blame witchcraft. My friend financial issues shall be sorted with proper planning. We can't live a promiscuous life willingly then once we get diseases or infections we blame witchcraft for getting infected. My friend the key to staying away from STIs and STDs is being faithful to one partner. We can't be absentee parents in our children's lives then when they find other "parents" that introduce them to drugs we blame witchcraft. The truth is they shall find a person to parent them in your absence as a parent. We can't start a business we have no background on, and expect to do well. Doing proper background ensures the business does well.

The mother of all blame for witchcraft is Mental illness. We have been led to believe that mentally ill persons are like that because of demons. The reality is mentally ill person is a sick person just like any other person suffering other illnesses that seem acceptable. Mental illness is a disability like any other physical disability the only difference is the location of the disability. While a blind person their eyes that aren't functioning to their capacity , a mentally ill person its the mind that isn't functioning to its capacity. Just like a blind person can be permanently blind so can a mentally ill person. Just like there is temporary blindness so can there be temporary mental illness. 

If we are going to incorporate those that are physically disabled in areas that we can see, we need to also incorporate those that are disabled in areas that we can't see. If we are going to be mindful and understanding of cancer patients , lets be mindful of mentally ill patients. They are patients just like the cancer patients. If we are going to find jobs that the blind can do and pay them , we can also find roles that mentally ill persons can perform and pay them. If we are going have flexible terms of service for other forms of disability, let us have flexible terms of service for the mentally ill persons. The reality is while there are roles that need one to see hence the blind can't perform them, there are roles that don't need the eyes hence the blind can comfortably perform them. The same is true for mentally incapacitated persons. While there are roles that need a proper functioning mind, there are  roles that can be done comfortably without needing to use the mind in the normal capacity needed. 

Mental illness shall not be addressed by the stigma we continue to subject those suffering from it. We are not going to reduce the numbers of mentally ill persons in our towns by stoning them or chaining them. We are going to help them by taking it upon ourselves to understand that they are sick and just like we fall sick, seek treatment and get back to our normal lives so can they. If we can come together to raise funds for a person suffering from a chronic illness, we need to come together to raise funds for a person that is mentally ill. If we are going to subsidize cost of treatment for diseases that have become rampant, let us subsidize for mental illness because it is slowly turning into a national disaster. Many are suffering in silence because of stigma and the high cost of treating a mentally ill patient.

Its time for us to all wake up especially Africans who find blame in black magic and face reality. Its time for us to stop running from our wrongs and find solutions for that which ails us. We can't keep saying God is punishing us hence not sending us rains , while we continue to log down the trees . My believe is human beings continue to live the painful life we are living now as a result of our creation. If we created all these bad things that have brought so much suffering to us, we have the capacity and ability to create the good things that shall end the suffering and bring happiness and celebration to us. After all my Bible affirms this by reminding me that I was created in the likeness of God. Just as God is the overall creator, He made me a sub creator when He created me in His likeness. 

 

Victory over Suicide; Helping Friends & Loved Ones with Suicide Tendencies

It was at that moment of realization that my twin set out to discover if there were others who had or were going through what they had. The revelation was shocking . Since they had understood what the language of a depressed person was, they were on the look out.  Several cases struck my twin. 

There was case of a lady who had been left by her boyfriend. This lady confided in my twin that upon telling her closest friend, the comments she got was they are not twelve like the disciples. You shall soon get another. The lady went on to tell my twin that though that was true it wasn't what she wanted to hear. When she confided in her friend it was because she had known all the efforts she had put into growing the relationship to the level they had come. That was what was breaking her not even the boyfriend leaving her. She felt stupid for putting herself on the line for a man she was not to have a future with.  

Then there was a case of a man who was now living under the shadow of his parents and wife. This man had stayed close to two years without a job and yet he was a qualified engineer. Those he interacted with told him start a business and be independent. Others went on to offer him capital to start a business. What they didn't seek to know however was why this man was crushed. The man was crushed because he didn't feel man enough not being able to provide for his family. In addition, he had spent so many years in school studying for the course. The thought that all that was in-vain devastated him.  

Then there was this boy and girl who were in high school and were also struggling with suicide. Their case was made worse by the fact that whenever they sort to have a conversation with their parents about how difficult life was in their present school, the parents dismissed them . They had an opinion formed in their mind that they were just being troublesome. While in actual sense was the boy was being forced into homosexuality while the girl it was bhang. 

My twin finally had discovered why the society loses its friends and loved ones to suicide and summarized them as follows:

1. Majority of the people are not willing to listen to the victim.

2. Many want to offer solutions without understanding what is triggering the suicidal thoughts.

3. Majority don't view it as a sickness, they think its something that with a snap of a finger can be wished away. 

4.Majority think the persons are attention seekers or weaklings. 

5. Majority don't understand that each suicidal case is different from another. 

6. Majority don't understand that lots of patience is needed when dealing with a suicidal person. 

7. Majority think people are cursed. 

8. Others think a person is being weak and lazy. 

With this revelation, my twin set out on a mission to get better not just for themselves, but for others that could be struggling. My twin understood that they went through that struggle to help others. It is also through my twin that I have learnt on what I like to refer as traffic control. Traffic control involves taking 5 minutes every hour to check what I was thinking about. What is good I keep. What is bad and negative , I find what is positive in it for the sake of my sanity. 

Its also through my twin that I learnt on a gratitude diary. Its a diary that helps me focus on the good that is happening around me. The revelation my twin got is all the negative we continue to watch and listen has a way of getting into our minds . The results of which could be low moods that later lead to depression which if severe and unattended leads to suicide or all these diseases manifesting themselves in the world today. 

I hope we could all work towards listening to persons that are suicidal and in a not judgemental way or trying to compare them to others experiencing "worse" cases because in the eyes of a suicidal person they see their issues in an exaggerated way. Nothing you can compare to shall be equal to the reason for suicide. So yes one has lost a child and can get another, but its not that simple. Yes one has failed an exam and can always retake the exam, but its not that simple. Yes one has fallen out with their long time partner and can survive without them or get a better one, but its not that simple at that moment. 

Part 2 : Why do we Lose Friends and Love Ones to Suicide? Understanding Suicide Victims & Tendancies

My twin was at a point where anything that would put them back to their normal mode was welcome. The antidepressants were such a great relief and made them better. Slowly they started feeling life was looking up.It however came with side effects of adding weight , being drowsy and even dizzy spells that make them fall as they walked. My twin felt this wasn't the solution. It was a temporary relief for a situation that could be a permanent. Sadly the suicidal thoughts did recur and they came back with vengeance. 

Once more my twin visited the psychiatrist who didn't seek to help my them understand what could have triggered the suicidal thoughts even after they had cleared the medicine. The Psychiatrist instead prescribed another dose of drugs.Based on the negative side effects my twin had gone through, it didn't make sense to ingest the drugs once more. They sort a different understanding and deeper one and it was revealed that their family had history of persons that had died from suicide. That gave them a better understanding. It was however scary to internalize that probably what they were fighting was beyond them. It was at this point that they decided if this was a generational inheritance it ends with them. My twin vowed to fight to the bitter end to put an end to it. There would be no history of suicide in their family, if my twin was the one to pass it down to the next generation they took it upon themselves to seek God's forgiveness. 

Remember I mentioned my twin was of Catholic Faith, they decided to seek an understanding from the Priest. The priest sympathized with them and at the same time made my twin feel stupid for wanting to commit suicide because they had difficulty proceeding to the next level of academic qualifications. The Priest made it known to my twin that people are living and having functional lives without education. This crushed my twin further. It was at this point that they sort counseling from another religious organizations one advised that they go back to medication while another asked them to switch courses. The one that said they switch courses was opined that the course was too difficult for my twin and this sunk my twin lower. 

It was a big blow for my twin. No one around them seemed to understand how to help them get out of the sickness. One final push with a professional counselor, my twin thought. This Counselor went on to make them see that problems of learning are common that perhaps they need to interact more with the lecturers and perhaps hold discussion groups. Unfortunately the counselor didn't seek to know what my twin had done to reduce their academic frustrations. The climax of it all was when the counselor went ahead and pointed out of cases they had handled that they considered bigger than what my twin was going through. It sunk my twin further down. All seemed like a dead end. Seeking help outside made no sense. This disease seemed not to be well understood by persons who my twin felt should have been the first to understand. 

Look out for part 3 and last part as we seek to know the ending of my twin. Did the suicidal thoughts conquer them or they conquered them. I shall also share important lessons that my twin got to share. How best to understand a suicidal person and help them.  All this shall be posted on this blog. Be on the look out. 

  

Why do we Lose Friends and Love Ones to Suicide? Understanding Suicide Victims & Tendancies

During the last Kenyan Public Holiday that was June 1 2019, the President of Republic of Kenya (PORK) in his speech talked of Mental illness as being of growing concern in Kenya. This is due to the rising cases of Kenyan citizens that the country losing to suicide lately. I tend to think that Kenya has been losing citizens in the past only that now all media stations seem to be putting in the news updates of the latest suicide victim . The reported cases of suicide know no age nor gender they have cut across board. Those that have left suicide notes have given reasons like losing a football match, academic frustrations and even marriage and loss of finances. What do those that are left to bury  or cremate a victim of suicide say?

Most persons that are left behind say the victim was foolish and at times weak and selfish. How true is this view? Allow me to take you through the journey of a suicidal person before they result into actualising the act. But first let me demystify a suicidal person. This person isn't selfish, if anything they are kind to the persons around them because they find the need to eliminate the bad person which in this case is themselves. They are not weak, they are actually persons that have been strong for so long and don't understand why during the moment of crisis they can't put things together. Now let us understand who a person who commits suicide is.

This is a person who is sick but unfortunately seeks the wrong cure. Sometimes this is a person who sick and when they present the sickness to the person they consider the right doctor doesn't give them the right prescription or dismisses their sickness or just doesn't understand their illness. Let us break down this definition further through an experience from someone very close to me who I happen to know inside out. Lets just say there is no tearing us part, we are like clones of each other or what others refer as identical twins. I shall however not reveal their identity or gender and shall refer to them as "My Twin"

 My twin was at their end point and nothing seemed to make sense. As we interacted they made me realise that they had been so strong for a long time and it broke them that they could not help themselves. In the eyes of people, their life was perfect. They were the centre of perfect example for their peers. In matters faith and academic qualifications, they were on top of it. Talk of physical appearance, they got it all. They were those persons that turn faces as on lookers can't help but wow at the creation they were. When it came to family, their loved ones believed in them. It broke my twin further looking at their family because they couldn't move or make sense over their life. My twin was at a point of too much confusion. They didn't know what to do anymore to make things better and it frustrated them further hence the reason for suicidal thoughts. To them, it actually made sense because their life had lost meaning, purpose and direction. They thought themselves as a  serious let down to themselves, their loved ones and the society in general. 

One thing I must applaud my twin for is that they felt there was a bigger vision. To them, there was a reason why the devil was fighting them by invading their mind. Like me my twin is a Christian and of Catholic so they visioned themselves through the life of persons in the Bible who experienced turmoil and God uplifted them and even the life of Saints. My twin therefore decided to find the right medicine for what it was that ailed them. The first place they went to was the hospital. Here they met a doctor who diagnosed them with severe depression. They were put on antidepressants. My twin wasn't shocked because in the midst of seeking out a suicide option that would lead to a natural death they got to learn about depression and use of antidepressants. The antidepressants were to restore serotonin levels.

Thank you for reading this far . I however ask that you look out for Part 2 of this article as it could end up being too long. You can be sure I shall finish this article and it shall be published on this blog. So keep looking out for part 2.  

The Truth about Sickness

Have you ever asked yourself why there are so many diseases lately. If not diseases , vaccines flowing left right and centre for our children? Have you ever wondered what did our forefathers do differently? Or are you going to say they weren't advanced in medicine to know all the diseases we have today? 

While there is some truth in improved research in terms of medical science, the truth is there is more than meets the eye. Just recently I came to learn that CS method of giving birth was discovered in Africa. The Western world used it but most of their women would die days later. It wasn't until they came to Africa that they discovered they need to be sterilizing the tools they use.  This is because the tools were causing infection hence the death of a mother. Anyway let's continue to deliberate.

If you have signed up for a life or medical insurance policy, I am sure you have answered questions about family history. Oh well and if you did biology I am sure you learnt something about genes. See the truth is we all have genes that are highly susceptible to a certain disease. While it is true some are passed down through parents, some are acquired over the years. The question is why don't we know these things at birth ? It is only after few hours that they manifest themselves?

The truth about diseases is that they are a way of our bodies letting out the pressure we subject it to. Like a balloon with a maximum limit of air it can hold before busting, so it is with the body. Do you know you can put water in a balloon and when you place heat underneath it would not burst immediately ? The balloon bursts when the water inside gets too hot and the steam increases pressure inside hence bursting. Our bodies are no different.

Just like the balloons come in different densities so do our bodies. Our bodies vary in terms of the disease it's highly prone to. That is why when one family has repeat cases of cancer, another has repeat cases of depression. Yes depression is a disease too just like cancer . It's however unfortunate that cancer gets understanding while depression gets stigmatization. It's no wonder there are so many cases of suicide lately because majority of people don't know how to help their loved ones. Back to the main theme.

I am strongly convinced that though we habor diseases within us, we determine how they come to life. Looking at creation God created man in his own image. That to me means that God didn't create diseases because His likeness doesn't reflect sickness. I have not read a verse where God was sick. This means man being in the likeness of God has the ability to create. What I am saying is sickness manifests itself from our creation.

We eat so much junk , grown foods with so many pesticides because we have  destroyed the eco-system. Rem the chain rule of food or was it called dependants tree? God was so orderly I tell you that He ensured a certain population would be eliminated by something. That is why we have snakes eating rats and lizards eating insects. But since the predators of the pests have been driven away by human interference, we have instead resulted into using pesticides. I believe the solution to pests is within creation itself. That takes care of the food we eat physically.

In addition to this physical food, there is the indirect food that we feed through the mind. This food is the one that is killing majority of us. We keep so many toxins within us that our bodies are blowing up. We harbor so much bitterness that it soon eats us in form of diseases. We carry so much baggage by wanting so much and it outweighs us. We want everything that so and so has and we don't know what it took for them to get there. We put ourselves on certain standards and we are not there hence the body gets stressed out. We are not peaceful within ourselves. We are living fake lives forgetting that we may lie to the outside world but never the inside world. That inside world is what is destroying us.

If we are going to heal ourselves of diseases let us check what we eat both directly and indirectly. Someone said garbage in garbage out. The more garbage we continue to consume the more garbage we shall dispense. If we are going to heal ourselves let us look into healing the soul. Get rid of negativity and hate. Have an understanding that we are not in competition with others but with ourselves. Live in peace within yourself and others.

Once we do that ladies and gentlemen, we shall suppress the diseases we each carry. Our forefathers lived longer because they lived right with God and themselves. It's time we learn something from them.

Straight Talk - Women Talk

I feel the need to say something to all women in the house & beyond. And for the men well I shall say it and whether it offends you or not I shall say it.

I truly and deeply feel men have continuously gone free because women allowed it to be a norm and allowed things to happen unfairly as they do. Forgive me for what I am about to say because I intend to use biological terms of the process and some might think it's too raw. 

The process of baby making involves sperms swimming and meeting an egg. The sperm that is successful to fertilise an egg is a conqueror because it's able to come to life. This is unlike the others that leave the body as waste. In case you have forgotten your biology the sperm comes from the man and the egg comes from the woman. 

Just so we are clear when a man and woman have sexual relations and sperms are released inside a woman's reproductive organ, it's not guaranteed that pregnancy occurs. It's all a God given act and blessing for conception to occur. In addition even the entire journey of pregnancy is an act of God, many conceive but not all carry the baby to term. In addition when the child is born like any human being continues to live through God's grace. That is to say a child is an act of God. Parents have a responsibility from God to take care of the children they make. 

That said it's clear for us to see that without a sperm the egg can't transform into a baby. The man is a key party in all this. If his sperms are weak , conception can't happen. It's the sperms that compete not the eggs. Oh well let me be fair here the quality of the egg determines if conception takes place. So it's up-to the producers to know that where coalition happens , they both have an equal responsibility to ensure the by product stands on its own. 

Ladies let us stop this nonsense of oh the woman opened her legs🙄 , didn't the man close the gap 🤔🤔🤷. She could have opened to let in fresh air but I guess the man decided to offer more. In the story of creation, man was placed to rule the woman. To have dominion over her. That is to mean if women are not closing their legs it's because men have led them to that line. They are the leaders remember. They are the ones to show the women what to do. 

Let's go further into the issue of married men versus single men who impregnate a woman. Both of these men need to understand that whenever they ejaculate into a woman's reproductive organ there is a likelihood of being called father. If they don't want to be a father, let them keep the sperms within themselves or ejaculate inside a woman they are comfortable raising their baby with. It's not the woman's entire fault here. It's actually the production of the right sperm & egg from the producers to blame here. This thing ati oh the lady trapped the man and she knew he was married, didn't that man know that was the wrong place to ejaculate. As a married woman you should not even defend that man, he disrespected you. To add salt to it all, he cares nothing about his wife's health. That is why he runs after every skirt he sees and can't zip up while he's very well aware of the diseases he could bring to his wife. Its no wonder cervical cancer is on the rise, because we are entertaining these men to dig every shamba and bring all pests to us, their wives. 

Oh and if any man thinks a woman is asking for too much child support, perhaps it's time for the man to be putting it in writing how much their sperms are worth and in writing before intercourse . This will be so that the ladies know if they get pregnant what to expect. I mean who would want to lay with a man knowing he values his sperms a price that can't even allow you to go to a public toilet.

As I conclude let the women remember they are mothers and some are raising boys. These boys will soon be men and shall produce active sperms. Mothers to boys need to raise them responsibly. Help them understand that any child they sire they should ensure they have the ability and are ready to provide for that child. Otherwise let them zip up. 

Lastly , 😂😂 women lets not see each other as enemies. I wish women would see how men defend each other. Why is it that women fight each other more? It's no wonder women are the majority of the population but till now very few countries have elected a woman as president. Take  our dear county Kenya for example,  getting a third representation as women in power is so difficult because unfortunately we fight each other than support each other. 

Let us all see the bigger picture.

The Manufacturer of Human Beings

The other day when I reported to work, my colleague informed me my flask was broken. Her message took me aback because the previous evening I had left the flask intact. This flask has been with me for a while and it was of great importance because mum gave it to me. I however rest easy with the understanding that it has served me well and God gave me provision for some extra money to meet this unexpected expense.

As I looked at my broken flask, I reflected on its manufacturers. They made it with the understanding that it shall break and warrant the user to go back to the shop to purchase another so that they may continue to enjoy the services of the flask. That meant they needed to make many units. And away from new units offer repair services. It was also made with the understanding that the manufacturer knows it best. This means that though others may try to repair it, the manufacturer is the best placed person to repair it and put it back into order. Now who is the manufacturer of human beings?

For those of us who believe in the Supreme Being (God) we believe that God created all things in this world. This therefore means that God is the manufacturer of human beings. That is to say when He created us He knew what it would take to put each one of us back together. He is able to join up all our broken pieces and turn them into a complete whole person.  With this understanding it is for us all to understand that its not in our place to repair broken people. Neither is it other persons place to repair us when we are broken.

Broken people can be toxic. They are the malicious persons running around causing havoc. They are the persons so focused on destroying lives of others.  Unfortunately for them,  God uplifts those they are working to destroy as they watch. They are the persons that will be abusive to others at work, home and environment. What do we therefore need to do to help these broken persons or to help ourselves when broken?

The best way the broken persons can be helped is to take them to the manufacturer. It is He who understand how best to transform them. As we take the broken persons to the manufacturer we also need to take ourselves to the manufacturer so that He helps us know what to do during the repair process. He shall make it clear to us whether its time for us to get a replacement or perhaps wait till they are fixed and we can have a normal life. We also need to recognize that our actions result to breaking people. We therefore need to ask our Manufacturer (God) to make us better human beings who don't go around breaking the people around us. Otherwise we shall have none left for us to enjoy their company with. See it may come a time when we shall exhaust the kitty to buy new persons. For those that are broken learn to have confidence in your Manufacturer because He shall get you up and running in no time.

See yes I have the money to buy another flask now but you can be sure that going forward my flask shall be under lock and key. That way I am sure next time it breaks I shall be responsible. 

Raising a Child whose Parents are living Separately

We all have a role to understand to ensure the children's right to both parents are secured. I have therefore addressed different parties all that are highly significant.

*Dear Mother raising a child without the child's biological father*

I appreciate that you have a baby with a man who could have a separate life from yours. Please note the relationship he has with you is you are the mother of his child. His sole responsibility is to his child (ren) not you. You need to recognize that providing for a child is your responsibility just as it's the man's responsibility. A wise baby mama will give a man bills away from house like ( medical, school fees ) Bills that don't make him feel like he is supporting you because that is where baby mamas lose it. 

If you need him to buy clothes for his child, don't ask for money allow him to take the child and they go shopping. After all this increases their bonding session. If it's the child's birthday let him pay the service providers directly say like a cake. 

Let not a baby mama think he shall get back at baby daddy using the child. In the end the person that shall suffer is your child. And please have boundaries of your own right from the word go. Define what it is that you want from the baby daddy.Don't allow yourself to be his consolation price or his sexual satisfactory machine. If you respect yourself no man shall ever disrespect you. Above all pray that God enables you to be a good mother and still not forget your life didn't come to a halt.

*Dear lady married to a man with child(ren) outside your marriage*

I understand that you feel hurt because your husband's money gets used up outside the confines of your home. I understand & it's natural that you could feel insecure based on the fact that the mother to your husband's child is an ex lover. 

However don't let your insecurities blind you. In the end that child is your husband's child and if you deny him the opportunity to be a father to that child you probably create pain in your husband's life. If he is a responsible man he shall find ways to sneak help & time with the child and that shall torment you. 

A wise lady gets to know what/ how the husband wants to support the child without interference. She gets to even know when they are meeting with the child. Instead of worrying about the baby mama she casts her insecurities to God. It's only He who can lead your husband to make informed choices.

The child is totally innocent in all the adults misunderstanding and mistakes. Don't be the reason a child suffers. God watches from afar. 

*Dear Man who is not living with the Child he sired*

Yes you could have been "tricked" or perhaps have all manner of excuses about how you ended up fathering a child & not marry the mother of the child. We all are humans and make errors.However please note that the child was conceived by God's approval. You therefore have a God given responsibility to that child as his father so long as you are alive.

Let no one lie to you that you shall abscond your duty and live a balanced and meaningful life. Don't think you shall neglect some Children and give attention to some and the children you give attention to live a perfect life. God is a God of justice and He shall find a way to balance the equation for you if you can't balance it. 

And please your business is the child so if you are married , be mindful of your wife. After all it's your mistakes that got you all mixed up. Let her not suffer by extension.

You need to also realise that just as you moved on, the baby mama has a right to move on. She can be loved as you are being loved by another woman and she's not interfering. So stop trying to taking over her love life. You made a choice to not marry her so let her get married to the man that approves her as his spouse. 

And please stop thinking now is the time to take advantage. Yes she is vulnerable but respect her as you would want any man to respect any woman you value in your life ( mum, daughter,sister) . She doesn't come as a bonus price for your responsibility to your child. Don't bring wickedness to those women through your actions.

*To the man who marries a woman who had children before they married or during marriage*

You truly are a hero among many man. I applaud you for taking it upon yourself to raise a marry a woman with children. Perhaps you even live under the same roof with the child(ren) only God can reward you. I totally get your insecurities because the man is your wife's ex-lover. 

However please note that child has their biological father and whether they are deadbeat or not he is still the child's father. Its not for you to judge him neither to prevent him from seeing his child or probably bar the him from being there for the child how best he understands. Don't let your jealousy blind you. If you would do anything for your children why do you think another man wouldn't want an opportunity to do the same. 

I have known men to respect each other and to guard their territory. A wise man ensures his territory is secure. If you love your wife right she shall never be wooed away from your side. As for the child, they shall respect you more knowing for being the man you are. Believe me children have a brain of their own and see all that is happening. So do it all and commit God in your walk because its not an easy walk.

*To the society*

This form of twist is very common..Let us not twist this further by casting negative thoughts and Information from the three persons mentioned above. We need to recognise that the minute we do this and the child ends up rejected or feels rejected, this child finds us in the society. 

A child soon grows up into an adult and based on their wrong upbringing they become a problem to the society for one reason or the other. The more we think its right for any parent to be allowed to abscond their duty as a parent the more dis-functional a society we shall deal with. Every child has a right to their father and mother especially if they are alive. 

We all have a role to play. May God give us wisdom to perform that role in the right manner.

A Child's Letter to Parents not Jointly Raising the Child

There is so much debate over irresponsible parents be it a man or a woman but never is there a debate of the child that the two adults bring forth in their moment of the act of love whether willingly or unwillingly. As a parent from a relationship/ situation that didn't lead into well coordinated parenting have you ever thought about my child's feelings? 

Here are the child's feelings in form of a letter. 

Dear mum and dad. Let me apologise for what I am about to say but someone needs to say it and who better placed than me your child? The first time I came to be a sperm and egg had met and with that began my journey towards landing on earth. Being in my mothers womb was so limiting and I wondered what it would be like to be in the next world where I would once in a while hear noises.  I wondered how long I would be in that world. Then after periods of wondering, I was soon out of my mother's womb and into a new freedom,  so I thought. 

I was introduced to all people but then I started noticing I was different from other children. See while my friends in school and at home and sometimes from the cartoons I watched had a father and mother, I only had the comfort from one growing up. To add salt to injury my peers would bring this to my attention and tease me because I only had one parent. When it got so bad I decided to tell them that my parent is dead. An explanation that hurt me to the core because I had never been shown the grave of my other parent. 

As I grew older I heard stories of why I was raised by one parent. The stories ran from my mother trapped my father and that is how I was conceived, I was not a planned child, I was a barrier to the parent progressing to the next stage of life, one of my parent wasn't good enough to make a spouse of the other and well others were one parent was utterly irresponsible in the eyes of the parent that was raising me. And so I ask what about me? How do I come into all these stories?

Has it ever occurred to any of you that my conception was an act of God and all these stories are none issues. Has it ever occurred to a parent that feels trapped that many are trapped but not all traps get the one its laid for? Has it ever occurred to you as a parent that the parent you deem irresponsible was chosen as my parent for a purpose? Has it ever occurred to the parent that feels like they are doing everything matters raising me alone for a purpose. That perhaps God keeps them healthy and able to go about their daily hassle to take care of me alone. That perhaps while this parent focuses on my financial needs I need the other for emotional needs and a sense of belonging?

I don't know the circumstances that led my father and mother to not be together, I however know its their action whether willingly or unwillingly that I was born. And if God made it possible for me to be born He meant you to be my parents. So please allow me the opportunity to know either of you. Let me make an informed decision about the parent you are to me. Don't allow me to grow up with questions that may never get answered or with feelings of rejection that only make my life as an adult miserable or with a lot of incompleteness. 

May God give you the wisdom to understand that I need not pay for any of your misunderstanding or whatever resulted to you not bringing me up together in one home. I continue to pray for you my parents to see the bigger role. I respect and love you both, don't make  me chose either of you because that would mean I am accepting one part of me and denouncing the other part of me hence making me a very unstable human being.

That is all for now. P.s Lots of Love

What Reports or News have you received lately?

In our everyday lives we are bound to receive reports and news. These reports or news are either positive or negative.  My question to us this day is what do you do when you receive your report or what did you do?

Often times I see when people receive good reports most get into celebration and even organise parties. Parties are good but are they enough? If I am going to celebrate something good I shall need to take a moment to thank all that helped me get there. Most importantly I shall need to show my appreciation to God because without His grace the celebration wouldn't be; those of us that believe in God. If one is a Christian they probable know the story of the 10 leapers. I choose to be the one leaper that went back to show my gratitude to God. How each of us does it; I choose to leave it to us to decide.

Let's now turn the coin to negative news and reports. Often negative news get us to be vulnerable. Its negative news that drives us to feelings of defeat, self pity and at times stress that results in diseases. Is this why we receive bad news? If you follow my blog I have previously talked of us being equal to our individual self & shall never be equal to another person.  When one receives bad news it's time for them to enter into self reflection. If you believe in God it's time for you to bring faith into action. It's time to earnestly call upon God not to waste time feeling sorry for yourself. If you are a Christian you know the story of what it took for the persons in the Bible to have their situations turned around. If you do not let the life of King David inspire you. Jesus too had a moment of receiving negative news; we all know what He did.  Some prayers may not go exactly as we want but believe me when we call upon God, He gives us the outcome that is best suited for us that He may fulfill His purpose for creating us. God knows what is good for us at different times and stages in our lives. 

In conclusion whether positive or negative news always remember to speak to God about it. He needs us to acknowledge Him as the overall creator. He is a jealous God, let us ensure we talk to Him about it before we tell our friends or relatives; Remember that negative news , He can turn it to positive. That positive news could have devastating outcomes when we don't recognise He controls everything in our lives. And through our actions we are able to predict the things that shall befall us.

Why are Others Doing Better or Worse?

Have you been keen to notice those around us have different things going on for them? Have you been keen to notice it's not just with people but also with countries , animals in short the entire creation.? Why do you suppose this is so? Why is it that while one part of the world is experiencing pain another is happy? Better put why do you suppose we experience day and night at different times and well have different time zones?

In one of my interactions with my fellow Christians, someone said God desires to be forever praised. That is why as He created the world He ensured we are at different time zones. This is just so that while others are sleeping, others are waking up to praise Him. As Christians do we ensure we praise Him more often? 🤔

Let's now look at the world events away from time. When one part of the world is celebrating💃🏽 another is mourning.😢 While one part of the world is advanced, another part of the world is lagging behind. While one part of the world experienced crisis years ago, another is experiencing crisis in the present. Ever heard of cosmic balance? Well I feel this is the best way to refer to it. It may not be our actions that bring about the opposite reaction on others but that understanding that no part of the world is like the other.

Let's bring it further to human beings. Ever noticed others are ahead of us in life 🏃🏽‍♀🚶🏽‍♀; even people who we could have been born on the same day? Well and of course while others are older, others are younger?

My understanding & experience since I became a mother is I need to raise my daughter to be an all rounded human being. That way she shall grow up to be an asset to the world. I also noticed that she copy's what I do and even people around her. That is how she knows what to do and what is expected of her.

The insight of parent and child is what I need us all to see. When we experience something before others, it's not for us to question why me or feel superior to them. No please, one becomes a parent of that which they experience before others. It's for us to use that experience to grow the child who comes after us in experiencing the same. Let me explain; if one gets employed before their peers,it's best to use the experience to advice those yet to be employed how to go about it.

As for a person who is yet to experience something, it's for them remember they are a child. Theirs is to watch and learn. It's no need being envious of their parents in a matter or perhaps wishing they were their parents because it's time for them to be a child. Yes you are yet to get married or have children, how about taking time to learn what being a parent or a spouse entails as a way of preparing yourself.

Thank you for journeying with me. I hope this helped us to appreciate the stage we are at. I also hope it stop us from being envious of others or feeling sorry for ourselves. Let's not bring misery because we are rating ourselves in  comparison to others.

*Remember the best competitor one has and the greatest victory one shall ever win is against oneself.*

Better Liberating Perspective

When I completed campus, my first job was as a financial advisor. My work was to help and guide people to plan for their finances especially matters risks covered by insurance.  As part of my way of delivery I sought to know if one had extra income by helping them do a budget and thereafter advise them of a product that best suited them. For clients with children I strongly advised them to take up an education policy. See the idea behind insurance is to cover an individual against unexpected occurrences that an individual has no control of.  The most common occurrences especially in matters life were death, disability , accidents and critical illness. 

The products that insurance company design are such that in-case of any of the eventualities the insurance would offer a compensation to the next of kin. Time and time again I have heard relatives of a deceased person quarrel and fight. Most fights I have heard relate to: where to bury the deceased or how to divide the wealth the deceased has left.Surprisingly I am yet to hear of fights over who to take over debts that the deceased had left . So why is it that problems arise after one dies?

In my analysis and based on my experience as a financial advisor people have been brought up to fear death and see it as a bad thing especially in the African culture. I would notice a client's face turn when I mentioned death. Its actually hash tone information as one tells their relatives the place they would like to be buried or cremated upon their demise. For the mourning to fight over wealth its likely because we are raised to believe that writing a will is a fast class ticket to your death bed. How true is this? Well follow me as I help us get a whole new perspective about death and how exactly we need to view it. 

Any person who believes in God believes that God created us and gave us ability to control our happiness. God didn't ,however, give us the ability to control or even know when pain and sadness would befall us. Its no wonder we do not know when we shall die, become sick  , get an accident of become disabled. My thoughts on why He did that is because He created us to find happiness and giving us the insight on when the occurrences mentioned previously would happen would result us to panic and we would not be able to enjoy life. The question I seek to answer after this revelation is; why did God bring death to mankind if He wanted man to enjoy the world He created?

Allow me to refer us all to the Bible and instances in which death occurred. There are many instances but for now I shall focus on a few. Perhaps its upon us all especially those of us who are Christians to take time to look for more instances of death in the Bible. 

1. Death during Noah's time. Why did this occur? It occurred because people were doubtful of God's word. Those that didn't die were those that chose to obey and entered Noah's ark. 

2. Death of all first born sons of Egyptians. It was after these deaths that the Israelite descendants were freed from slavery. 

3. Death of King Saul. It was so that God may fulfill His promise to David of anointing him King.  

4. Death of Uriah. It occurred to  bring King David back to repentance as he had forgotten his duty of going into battle and had instead focused on things that he was not called by God to deliver on. 

5. Death of David's son who was conceived by Bethsheba. It was so that King David learns that God is just and for parents to know that their lives can mean death or destruction over their children.

6. Death of King David. At the time of his death he was too weak and even his body warming up was a problem and people around him needed to give him much attention. His death came to be to bring rest to him and those around them.  It was also the only way that he was able to build his desire to build God's temple through his son Solomon. 

7. Death of Lazarus and Jairus' daughter . This had to happen that people may see the Glory of God and see His true power and victory over death. 

8. Death of Son of God , Jesus Christ. This is the most significant deaths of them all. This is because through His death as Christians we believe we are forever washed of our sins. 

There we have it people. Death isn't such an evil thing after all. It can occur to bring:

1. Liberation

2. Continuity

3.Fulfilling of God's purpose

4. Lessons to appreciate life

5. Bring restoration

6. Bring peace 

7. Bring progression 

8. End pain and misery. 

I do hope we are able to see death from a whole different perspective all together. Well and perhaps not shy away from talking about death, giving information that shall be revealed upon one's demise and even writing wills.  

Most importantly I hope we can all chose to focus on things that bring us happiness rather than  things that bring everything that is sad and pain.

Are we Destroying our Motherland - Kenya?

I had a dream. This dream made me wake up so exhausted and with a heavy heart. Apparently I was at a function can’t remember the details but I remember the incidence that woke me up. Some Youths started taking photos taking a foreign brand of alcohol. As they did this the foreigners from whose country the alcohol belonged were clapping and smiling. Actually the young youths were doing a live video.

It was not the taking of the video or foreign brand  that ticked me off to a point was taking the microphone to address the attendees of the meeting, it was the comment the youths made when I spoke to them. I have never been a person to shy away from speaking what I feel is right and against what I feel isn't right. I asked them if they have ever done a video with a Kenyan brand of alcohol and they told me to shut up. Kenyan brands are whack ! 😡😡😡Now that deeply sliced my heart and well yours faithfully went to the podium to address every person attending the meeting. 💁💁💁 

Unfortunately again, one youth who was the DJ of the meeting decided he was not going to tone down the music. 🙉🙉🙉 I forced to speak competing against the music which exhausted me because I was shouting too much. After I was done I went to talk to the Young DJ and these were my words which I need to share with us all. 

Next time a youth tells you they are unemployed or looking for a job, turn to them and tell them I closed doors for you to get employed. Yes that is what it means my fellow citizens. We need to embrace Kenyan brands more than foreign brands. It is quite unfortunate that as a country we import even what we produce of can produce. Probably the reason why we would rather take photos taking a foreign brand of item than one of our own. The sooner we start consuming more Kenyan than less foreign the sooner we shall create more jobs in our country. The sooner we shall start visiting our own Parks, Museums and Hotels the more jobs we shall create. We need to realise that a country that does not have its citizens market for the goods and services it produces is bound to do poorly in terms of job creation. 

I hope we are all challenged enough to find the need to buy a Kenyan product or service. Go watch a Kenyan movie or visit theatres when there is a play going on. Well yes the Kenyan products & service have a lot of improvements to be done . But it shall not be done when we don’t create the market to enable producers improve their products. 

Proudly Kenyan for Kenya.

Childhood Rejection

This article is long overdue. I had it's revelation last week but for some reason I seem not to find the right time for it. All the same here goes another article so close to my heart for us all to ponder about.

When a lady is told she is 🤰 her reaction towards the pregnancy really matters. If she's disappointed about it or pretends to be happy and deep down she sad, there begins the journey of rejection. When a man finds out that he impregnated a lady and decides to flee , there begins the journey of rejection.  Once the baby is born the reactions towards that baby especially negative could begin or continue the journey of rejection. When the child joins the society and is rejected by comments such as dirty child, rough , rude there continues or starts the journey of childhood Rejection.  The people around a child when he or she is growing up can bring feelings of rejection. There are children that experience childhood rejection because of their skin colour, person they are named after and even school performance.

It's not strange to hear a relatives treating children born of their relative differently because they are named the side of their in-laws. Or a child being made to feel rejected because while all children are light skinned, he or she is dark skinned. These are the children that once old enough and making their own money would go for bleaching products.

It's sad that as a society we don't realize that our actions towards any child that we come across whether we gave birth to it or not may bring upon rejection. The effects of child hood rejection is we create troublesome persons in the society as they do all they can to fit in and be accepted. We are responsible for persons that take up destructive careers while grown up like thieves, murderers and even abusive partners.

Parents needs to know their attitude towards a pregnancy to child birth and raising a child is responsible for the way the child grows up. As a parent if you see a rebellious child ,start analysing yourself. Ask yourself have you ever rejected the child? The universe has a way of bringing all we conceptualise in the mind to reality. So what is it we need to do?

As a parent it's important to pray against the spirit of rejection against your children. As a society we need to seek forgiveness for rejecting any child we have come across. Fail to do this and the next person to mug you or your loved ones could be that child you neglected. The next child to commit suicide or person to commit suicide could be that child you rejected. Childhood rejection has and will continue to have devastating effects if we don't take the initiative to stop it.

If as an individual you are struggling with certain things it's time to deeply look into your childhood. Could be you faced some form of rejection as a child and it's eating into the person you are today. If you can't find it pray to cancel the spirit of rejection to free yourself from the jail that could be keeping you from progressing or being a better person.

Have a fulfilling day free of any form of rejection.

Moments of Turmoil

Have you ever struggled or experienced a period of so much pain? Where things are just going wrong for you? Where those around you seem to all be working around you? Or perhaps you are there right now you are having so many things falling apart and you feel like it's the end? My friend I have a message for us all.

Nothing we go through in life is a surprise to God . In fact life is full of moments of rest and moments of upheaval. During moments of rest things go smoothly and pleasantly. When one is at rest, they should enjoy it and get into prayer because they understand the next season is the upheaval season. When one is in the upheaval season it's not the time to ask why me Lord. It's the time to seriously seek God and ask Him to quicken your understanding of that which God needs you to learn. Only then shall peace reign in your heart once more. See praying for the pain to end isn't enough. It's praying for a deeper understanding of what one is going through. I am opined that if I pray for the pain to end and the lesson I was to get doesn't come through, I shall experience the pain once more.  My understanding is I shall experience the pain till I get the lesson.

That boss that is a pain, that child that is trouble, that project that is taking you so long to complete, that spouse who is being difficult, what is the lesson I need to learn, that needs to be the question. Not why can't this thing change or turn around? It's not turning around because one doesn't want to take time to get the lesson.

Allow me to take you back to the scriptures. David had his share of seasons of rest and upheaval. Read the book of Samuel you shall see it all. God gave Solomon a period of rest so that he build the temple. Sometimes as parents we shall experience upheaval so that our children experience rest. Some of us are having rest because our parents experienced the upheaval on our behalf.

I pray this has given us all a deeper understanding of things.

May the peace of God reign over us all.