Single Status

Today the african world seems to judge single persons so harshly, particularly ladies who cross a certain age. So harsh that some actually will propose that the lady gets a child fathered by any man just to seem normal. So harshly that a man engaged to be married would actually deny his fiancee just to get this lady "out of her misery" So harshly that a married man would actually propose to the single to have her as his secret affair and even father her child. So harshly that the married women avoid them because they think that they are "eyeing" their husband. So harshly that the men and women in the village talk behind their back saying they are not normal. So harshly that even the pastors in the church will hold prayers because they are biwitched and that is why no man can "eye them". So harshly that a man is willing to have sex with them to cure them of their sexual desires no strings attached. So harshly that even traditions have a special name for a lady that dies having not been married. So harshly that if they prosper as a single lady its because they are a walking business. So harshly that among the children the one that isn't married is treated like an outcast.

Its time we face and accept that marriage is an institution ordained by God. And just like we were not born at the same time by the same parents, marriage doesn't happen for all at the same time. Just like we have blind people and people with sight, we cannot all be married or be parents. Just because sugar is there not everyone puts it into their tea so not everyone feels they need to be sexual to live. Let us stop glorifying things that are not in anyone's control.

Singlehood isn't a disease that needs urgent cure no matter the cost. One can be single and happy , single and miserable , married and happy , married and miserable. Happiness will not be brought by a spouse and neither will fulfillment. Only God gives fulfillment and happiness will and always has been a personal responsiblity.

I know i have touched a raw nerve and the truth is i have no apologies all the same.

A crack in my Cup

I am a lady who loves to drink hot water in the office. Don't ask why, but well because its healthy and good remedy to lose weight. So anyway I have my special cup which I use in the office for my drinks. My cup and I have established a bond and I don't feel at ease using other cups.

Unfortunately for me the other day I poured hot water into the cup and the water leaked. My cup had a crack not a serious one but well I couldn't use it to take my tea or hot water anymore. As much as it hurt I had to throw it in the bin and get a cup that would serve me as well.

Today I thought about this situation as I looked at another cup whose handle broke . I however decided to keep and use it to store my utensils super brite. I didn't see how else I would use the cup in the office hence I threw it away.  The reality that hit me was so hard for me to put in writing and I can tell you I have really struggled to write this piece.

This was my revelation- we are cups too in our day to day lives. We are useful to those that are in our life for a certain purpose. However time comes when we crack and no longer perform the task those that have had us need us to perform. As harsh as it may sound well we often get thrown in the dustbin and in this case we get kicked out of their life.

Its never that they mean to be rude but they need a functioning cup (person). Well that is why we are actually sent home on retirement. The cup I threw isn't useless if anything it can be used to keep coins or even plant a seedling but it can't perform the task it once did.

The message that came to me is that when its clear one isn't wanted the best thing is to move on to another and you will find one that needs you. The same is true for jobs. The broken cups are collected and remade into new cups. Same way sometimes we need to remould ourselves to fit into previous tasks or embrace new roles all together.

I hope this message has made sense to you. It was really a hard one for me to swallow but I received it well and thought I share

A distant yet close memory

Its been years and yet this one day I can't seem to forget. Its a day all about you and your existence. Even before the day dawned and I pretended I didn't care my thoughts said otherwise. I wished I could call , text and perhaps send my happy thoughts to you but I held back. Not for anything, but because a new chapter opened in your life and that is the chapter that should really matter.

We all have people in our lives whose memories we wish we could erase but there is always a day and a moment when those memories come rushing in. Memories that bring you joy and at the same time sadness ; not because they are bad, but because you can never relive those happy times. Either distance happened or people happened that created a permament wall to ensure that the worlds never meet again.

Its a distant past that we all wish could remain burried but the truth is until we get to make new memories with new people, Memories of the past will always appear and seem to be real and fresh in the present.

A CHILD’S LETTER TO A STRAY MOTHER

It is really amazing that our paths of life have crossed once more. Never did I imagine this day would ever come to see the woman to who I owe my life to for carrying me in her womb for 9 months. You truly are an amazing woman mother because unlike the others you chose not to abort me. I thank and bless God for your life every day that I have lived. Enough of chit chat introductions let us head to the reason for this letter.

Years ago while you were still a young woman, you, fell in-love with a man and well as fate would have it a baby was conceived as a fruit of love. I hear it was all celebrations as the first grandchild was ushered into this world. Not forgetting a man’s first child to continue in his linage. Unknown to the child the joy was not shared with the mother, she felt she had lots to do than look after an infant, and well soon packed her luggage and left a month’s old baby with its father and grandparents. Well mother that child is me and as you can see years passed and I am all grown up. Let me take you into my world of growing up without you by my side mother.

A Girl to Her Mother
As a young girl the love of her father seems to be all she needs.  Thanks God father was the first born in his family and since there was no girl in the family he had learned how to look after infants. Dad told me stories of how he would feed me milk from the cow and the endless nights he had to stay awake. Not forgetting my immunity was down and I would constantly be hospitalized. God is good I did get past the toddler stage. It was dad who would cook for us. He taught me how to make tea and wash my inner wear.  When adolescence kicked it was then I realized I am missing out on a mother. How would I tell my father to buy me sanitary towels? It seemed to embarrassing for me, mother.

 As the only girl in the family with no aunties to look up to life became tough. I needed to talk to a woman as she probably understood what I was going through. Boarding school didn’t make things easy either as dad could not carry those pots of food that other children were brought by their mothers. I would envy my friends when they talked about their mothers. I would roll down on the floor cramping and dad would only sympathize with me. Lucky for me we had a seminar and got to learn some of the things we would do to ease the pain. Ha,ha,ha! I can laugh now but then it was so embarrassing when dad took me shopping for clothes. I learned the hard way how to be independent.

This independence has only made things too complex for me in my adulthood. My friends label me miss independent. A character that majority of men will shy away from. All the same mother, I am hopeful to find my match. In as much as I grew up without a mother, I am looking forward to being the best mother in the world. See unlike you who didn’t care to stay; I will stay and care for my children. I do not hate you and only pray you can forgive yourself for neglecting me.


A Boy to His Mother
As a boy the first love is always the mother. I had none of that and didn’t know what that would feel like. When I cried dad would be hard on me and tell me to man up that boys are not meant to cry. Yes I did learn how to be a man but I really don’t know how to be around women. When we went for trips back in high school, the thought of socializing made me shiver. Even if a lady approached me for directions I would just give a blank gaze. It’s not once I was thought to be gay just because I don’t know how to talk to women.  I grew up with so much resentment towards women and pictured if my own mother would abandon me what about a female stranger. I longed to have a nice home cooked meal with the touch of a lady but there was no one to offer it.

When I finally got the courage to talk to women, I became heartless. For me no woman was worth giving my heart to and I never allowed myself to fall in-love. I became a famous player from a gay suspect. I went through university and started working. To maintain the many number of women I knew I had to work hard and money was not a problem. It’s only recently that I got a pal who did a wedding that I got the feeling of wanting to settle down. I have been reading books and it’s the books that have helped me understand that not all women are like you mother. I know I will soon settle down with a lady and I have been praying she doesn’t do to our children what you did to us. God knows I have a reason to hate you but I choose not to because it would only mean I live a bitter life. You took away a mother’s love I will not allow you to take away a spouse’s love too.

To the Women out there
As you can see my reader children who have missed out on mothers have lots of challenges and questions. I have not exhausted them all and I am sure each child brought up without their mother because she left them, not by death, if asked to share their experience would have something different. That notwithstanding, I only hope that I have passed on a very important message to all women out there and that they will take it upon themselves to be the leaders God called them to be.

Women were called by God to be the helper I know that is not just any role. Just like the head is joined to the neck to support the head so is the woman’s role. If the head is moving in the wrong direction it probably doesn’t have the right support system. Women need to realize they were called to help and submit to their husbands. A woman is expected to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. The church goes humbling itself before Christ. Well what does that mean to you as a woman?
 
Being the helper means it’s upon the woman always support her husband through encouraging him and praying for him. I know this will not be taken kindly but it’s a fact. Support and submit to your husband and he will love and respect you. Mistreat your husband and he will find comfort in another woman.

Prayer for all our Women
May God help the women of this world to learn how to be supporters and how to be mothers to their children. May He also help them perform the roles they were called to be, a helper and companion. May they understand that by being helpers is not just pegged on material things; there is more to it like words of comfort, concern … Amen

Thank you for reading.

Please note the picture of this lady is not the lady being talked about

GOD’S HOUSEHOLD ITEMS

So today I woke up and well it seemed like a different day. I was all cranky and the feeling lasted for like 10minutes. So well after a fight getting out of bed I went and put on the radio. And there played one of my all-time hit songs and I was up and down swinging my hips and singing my heart out; total complete metamorphosis – moods uplifted. 

I needed to make me some tea so of course I put on my burner and within few minutes my breakfast was ready. I am not a cold shower person so I quickly heat my water and was off to the shower. I pick what to wear in the evening because I can get late deciding what to put on; blame it on gender. So I got out of the shower and pressed the clothes using an iron box and went to have my tea, sitting on the sofa I bought awhile back. The music was still playing in the background; I was using a cup to drink my tea and had put some bread on the plate. After breakfast I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush, powdered myself and locked my house using a padlock.

I am sure you are wondering this must be a little too obvious. Why would I tell you I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush, ironed my clothes using an iron box etc. Well the truth of the matter is each of the equipment I was using was designed to fit into its own purpose. The human made those manmade items to help them in their day today life. It is said that man was made in the likeness of God. And well the things that exist in natural form were created by God. Has it ever occurred to you that they were built in certain shapes and sizes for a given purpose? 

Each natural existing thing was created by God for a reason. As human beings we are all unique from each other for a certain reason. It is time we identified that reason and stopped imitating others as they fulfil the reason for their creation. Understand that you have a reason to be born different from your friend. Stop competing to be like your friend but rather compete to be who and for what God created you to be. Otherwise those copied roles will just be a mismatch for you and you shall live your life feeling inadequate.

What is your viewing ground?

Today morning I opened the computer and for the first time I took a deep look at the screen saver. The images at the foreground looked bigger than those of the background. This is not a new phenomena as my Arts and Craft teacher told me when drawing that is a key aspect of drawing.As i continued to look at the screen saver I noticed the colors on the foreground were darker than those on the middle and back ground. This again isn't a new phenomena and it was part of the skills i was taught while drawing a landscape image.

 As I dwelled into the images sizes and their colors, it occured to me that the reality is that those images in the foreground are no different than those in the background. If i was to position myself in the background the imagesof the foreground would now become smaller and less colorful. I looked at it in real life and wondered how I can apply it practically. I realized that most of the times when I am worried and anxious about things is because I look at issues at the foreground. This means that they appear bigger and of a deeper color than they really are.

So I have made a resolution to look at things from the background. So next time I am caught up in a situation, I will take a deep breath and ask which ground I am looking at situation. The reality of life and situations is that they are not as big as we picture them to be. Always remember that the images are the same color and size its the ground you chose to view them that makes all the difference. Hope its a resolution you can utilize.

Have a lovely and blessed day.

A CHILD’S LETTER TO A STRAY FATHER

Dear Father,

Let me start by thanking God for giving me this opportunity to write to you and for watching over me till this far; a grown up adult ready to have a family of their own. In fact, the elders in my church have been on my case effortlessly trying to hook me up with the singles in the church. And dad they are all fine looking people that all leave me perplexed at God’s awesome creation.

Enough of the introduction let me get to it. This is a very specific letter and considering you are a busy man, with your own family now, I would not want to take much of your time. Not to mention the fact that you have made a mark in your life by breaking records in your professional life. Anyone who knows that part of you would want you as their role model. Unfortunately, you have another side of you and that is the side I want us to talk about.

Remember years back, there was this lady who loved you to death and would have given up everything to make you happy? The one you had sworn to love till eternity? The one with whom you unionized your naked self as a sign that you were one with her? The one you knew her heart skipped every time she saw you? The one you made pregnant and all over sudden you did not know her? The one whom you accused of being a whore when she told you, you are the father to her unborn child? The one you ran out on and blocked all her calls, moved into a new location, and gave strict orders to the watchman that she should never be allowed in? Well I am sure you do remember her not unless you are having selective amnesia. She eventually gave birth and to a God’s creation, Me.

This creation that that you left behind has few things to let out to you and I do hope you take you read all the way down.


The Boy Child to his Father
See when I was growing up I needed to be a man. I needed to know how to act like a man but you see dad unfortunately there was no man to learn from. I was the laughing stalk in my school; boys in my school would tease me for not having the ‘normal’ surname. I learned the hard way how to protect my mum from strangers that came to harm her; it was only natural since I was the man of the house. When I cleared primary school, it was time for me to be initiated into manhood; that was the most trying time ever. Mother could not take me to the seminar as the boys were to be accompanied by their fathers. Lucky for me, mum wised up and tricked her brother into taking me. Uncle saved me from another humiliation as I entered into an important stage in my life.

Did I mention the part where mother had to work two jobs to provide for us? As you may remember she was not able to complete her studies since she got pregnant with me. Upon my arrival she was charged with the sole responsibility of providing for her child. The supposedly  father of her child, you, had taken off from her as if she had just contracted a highly killer airborne disease. So anyway I know you had your excuses I bet one is you were too young to be a father and that you had no job to provide for mum and me. Well father that is crap! Why didn’t you ever bother to find us after you settled financially? If you knew you were not ready to be a father why did you enter into an intimate relationship with mum? If you were not ready to be a father well hell yes you were not ready for sex. Simply put you are an irresponsible human being; I really wish I could drain all my genes, of you from me, unfortunately that’s not possible.

The only thing left for me is to forgive you and to ask God to keep you strong enough for you to see me have a family of my own. I doubt I will be able to introduce you to them knowing very well till now you have never taken time to heal our relationship and ask for forgiveness for what you did to me. Whether mum refused you to see me or not, I believe there has always been a way. Just that it wasn’t of importance to you. So why now would I want you to matter to my children. I can only pray I am able to love my children in a way that I was not able to be loved by a father!

The girl child to her Father
I have always wondered what it would be like to have a man in the house. You see,dad, it was just two women in the house. I watched mother do all duties from cooking to changing bulbs and locking up the door with tables; just so that thieves would not gain entry.Mother was not earning much at that time and the place where we could comfortably stay was not so secure. Growing up was equally not easy and girls would ask all kinds of questions. Mbona huna baba, kwani ulitoka wapi? Hakuna mtoto hana baba. They would go on to explain. That and more was their day in day out tease and questions.

Well, kids are kids and I cannot blame them for being innocent but you see that time, dad, I felt abnormal. When I could not take the pressure anymore, I confronted mother about whom and where you were. I have never seen the face of mother turn more purple than it did that day. She held herself from “slapping you out of me”! When it became apparent I was not getting any answers from her I took it upon myself to make up a story of where you are, keeping away those nosy kids.

Mother brought me up well and I am now an adult woman. God blessed me and I can tell you I have all the features to make a man turn and a lady envious of me. I know I cannot undo the past and I am not defined by my parents. I have also come to know that not having a father doesn’t make me any less of other grown up Eve look-a likes. In fact I took the challenge and researched on things concerning the Adam look-a likes. I may not know it all but I believe I am not blind in that area. I look forward to having a family of my own and making my husband proud. You may not have been there for mother but I know God will give me a husband to love and protect my children. I refuse to believe all men are bad. In fact mother’s brothers and father are the living proof of great fathers. I was lucky to have them, three, as my fathers!

To the Men out there
As you can see my reader children who have missed out on fathers have lots of challenges and questions. I have not exhausted them all and I am sure each child ,brought up without their father because he left them; not by death, if asked to share their experience would have something different. That notwithstanding, I only hope that I have passed on a very important message to all men out there and that they will take it upon themselves to be the leaders God called them to be.

Men were called by God to be leaders and I know a leader is a head. Just like a company has a CEO, the man is the CEO of his house. If it is failing it’s probably because the man has not taken up his role as a leader. A man is expected to love his wife as Christ loved His Church. Christ’s expression of his love for the church was through dying for the church on the cross. Well what does that mean to you as a man? Being the leader means it’s upon the man to show the woman how to love him. I know this will not be taken kindly but it’s a fact. Show your wife respect and she will accord you the same. Show her unfaithfulness and tears and she will accord you the same.

Prayer for all our men
May God help the men of this world to learn how to be leaders and how to be fathers to their children. May He also help them perform the roles they were called to be, Providers and Bread Winners. May they understand that by being providers it’s not just pegged on material things; there is more to it like words of courage, security… Amen

Tafakari Hayo!!!

Thank you for reading.

 Mothers watch out for yours

The Picture of the man reading the letter does not mean he is the man the letter has been addressed to.

The dead Alive;Images Of Death

Today as my week comes to almost an end the thing that seems to be preoccupying my mind is death. It may seem strange to you but the past two weeks three people I know breathed their last. Their ages between 3months - 55years. The common denominator in all  of the three is that they died of natural causes.

When most of us picture death,darkness comes to mind. I actually searched for the images of death on Google and what came up to me was darkness and skeletons. I looked at this more critically and wondered if truly that is what death represents(deep analysis is my thing). To many of us we believe and think death is something totally horrible. Actually its the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.

But I couldn't help but look at the people who are alive today. We continue to live in dark cocoons of  ourselves with skeletons in our closet. The truth is some of us embraced death a long time ago but look at those that are physically dead to be in horrible situations. What is the point of walking aimlessly without purpose in life? What is the aim of living and yet still harbor so much bitterness for the people around you that you live a dead life?

If death is darkness and so bad. Why do we who are alive continue to encourage harbor so many skeletons in our ward robe which is our heart? We may not have control of death and even prevent it from coming but one thing I know is we can make the choice to live in the light. Let us learn that the flesh we have is to cover our bones till such a time we shall be skeletons and cannot represent any life.

Being able to breath each moment is an opportunity for each one of us to reinvent ourselves. Its an opportunity to be better people and be that change we want and desire.
Have a blessed day.

My Friend turned Foe

Yesterday I was all excited rushing home to prepare rice and pork. It had been a tiring day and I knew a good home cooked meal would cheer me on. As soon I opened the door I heard my friend making noise from the kitchen and I knew things are not going to be smooth as I had thought. No sooner had I closed the main door than I noticed him advancing to my direction. Without a second thought I knew I had to dash and close the outlet from which he was able to access my sitting room...

Yes my cousin forgot to close the tap and water had flowed half way into the sitting room. I drained buckets and buckets of water thinking of the lesson this incidence was meant to teach me and this was my conclusion.

In life we all have friends that help us in our everyday life. Water from the taps in our house is a good friend we use to help us in our daily living. However the same water if left unattended with open taps will lead to lots of destruction and become a foe. We therefore need to know there is a limit to which we allow the water to flow from the tap.In the same way, we need to know there is a limit to which we allow our friends to medal in our life. Too much meddling will be destruct-full. It is important for us to have a tap to control what we allow to come into our life and to what extent we allow it in.

Hope it makes sense to you as it did to me. Have a blessed day.

File to one level.

Over the weekend i had lots of cleaning to do my back hurts till now. I still wonder how i would perform if i was to go to the garden all day. The only thing i can say in all this is that everything takes getting used to. Perhaps more frequent cleaning would resolve having aches all over. Let me state that when I do the cleaning myself I feel really satisfied with the standards which is never the case when another person does it. Oh well like i said it will take some getting used to.

So anyway during cleaning my nails chirp and some end up longer than others. I find them looking untidy and so I have to manicure them a process which involves filing to bring them to the same level. Once done i am filled with admiration and feel proud of myself.The growth of the nails is uniform and i am able to maintain tidy nails.

Applying this to real life. I thought about the various situation that present themselves in life. More so in relationships. At some point a spouse may find themselves at a higher level than their partner. During such situations its important that those involved figure out how to get to a level ground. That way like my nails they are able to grow together. Situations will call for the two sitting and looking what is more practical moving down to get to the level of the one who is lower or growing the one who is down to get them to the level of the one who is up. Let me give you an example.

If two people are in an argument and one is shouting at the top of their voice. The only way to come to a level they can move together is to lower the one who is shouting.Only then can they have a decent conversation. Say two one partner is feeling low and down the only right thing to do is to see how best the happy one can lift the spirits of the one who is low. That way there is a lot of calm in the house and planning of things becomes easier.

So yes situations will call for filing down to enable growth together and neatly. And at times it will take getting down to the level one partner is to raise them up so that you can move together.

Hope it makes sense to you.

Open Your Eyes Kenya

I Have shared this video to help give vision to those who have eyes but cannot see. Lets help our blind see better and share the video

The Discomfort Does Ease Off

I am a lover of shoes and its always a challenge resisting a good pair of shoes especially when i have some extra cash to spare. Sometime late last year i traveled to Uganda on a pilgrimage to the place where the martyrs of Uganda were tortured and killed. During the visit we went shopping and i managed to get some very nice pairs of shoes at a fair price. When i wore the shoe they fit well and i was sure they would blend well with some handbags i had back home. When i got home i couldn't wait to wear my shoes and as proof i had taste i was complimented on them.  Unfortunately that day i was very uncomfortable as the shoes felt a bit tighter. I wished i had another pair of shoes but i didn't. So instead i chose to wear the shoes only when i left the office desk.

I didn't know what to do with the shoes because i couldn't take them back  where I purchased them . I wished i had picked a bigger pair of shoe but that was just wishful thinking.On this realization, i knew i had to make it work for me and more so because i loved the shoes. The fact that when i wore the shoes at the shop they fit well, i knew the discomfort wouldn't last long. Each time i removed the shoes after cleaning them i would stuff some papers in them. The shoes presently do fit well and sure enough i had picked the right shoe; the first day at the shop.  In fact they seem a little bigger now. Had i gone back and picked a bigger shoe, after sometime they would have been too big to wear.

Today morning as i reflected on what has transpired and related it to real life , i thought about marriage life. At the beginning of the marriage we all are sure that the person we chose is the one we want to spend the rest of our life with. When we take our partners home and begin to go about our day to day activities things become thick and we start doubting if we picked out the right partner. This is when the discomfort comes in we wish we can go back and return our partner and pick another but we cannot.

The important thing to remember is that the discomfort in marriage doesn't last long. If we go out and pick another partner the discomforts will still arise. That is why we need to draw the line and learn to persevere through the discomfort stage. With our efforts and adjustments here and there the partner we chose in the first place soon becomes our perfect match. So yes i do believe marriage does become comfortable but only for those that endure the discomforting period.

May God give us wisdom to understand this. Have a blessed day.

Flavors of Life

Whenever i have gone to the restaurant and ordered for beef stew it always seems to have a different taste from the one that i prepare in my house.The only is a key ingredient in both is beef. The reason the beef stew tastes different is usually because of the other additional ingredients those preparing choose to add. At the end of the day the key ingredient can stand on its own and all what other ingredients used does is give it a different flavor.

Looking at it in everyday life. As an individual you remain a key component in making the meal your life. It doesn't mean that without the things that the world offers like spouse, physical assets you cannot live a complete life. In real sense these things remain a flavoring into one's life. With or without the flavors the meal of life would be complete because the key ingredients ( God and Oneself) are in existence.

Of importance to remember is that just like the additional ingredients while making beef stew can make it taste good they can make it taste bad. The key thing for the chef while making his stew is to balance them appropriately with the beef just to give it the right taste. Its up to the chef to know that a kilo of beef may need more flavors compared to a quarter kilo of beef.

In the same way an individual needs to find balance of their life and the things that aren't a constant in their life. Recognize that a spouse could be a carrot and not having carrots the beef can still have coriander and taste good. Recognize that the flavors of life can be substituted for each other but never can you substitute the beef for chicken as that becomes chicken stew not beef stew. God and an individual are the key ingredient in life. Don't let the flavors alter your key meal and overpower you. Don't let a spouse rule over your life. Don't let a friend rule over your life. Find balance and learn to substitute the flavors and enjoy your beef stew which is your life.

Could it be Because you are Rusty?

Sometime back i was asked to collect some data at work then analyze it. During that time i was given the task i didn't know how to go about the task. After i had gathered all the information i needed it was time to put it in summation and come up with figures that would help draw some inferences on. Previously, I had used excel but not in the magnitude that the work required me to be knowledgeable on. Lucky for me Google provided answers on various functions on excel to simplify my work. That was like a year ago. Today morning i needed to make a template to aid in data input and this proved a difficult task.

I had not used the functions on excel since the last task and with that become rusty. I needed a refresher course to make a good template. Functions that i had mastery on proved difficult to configure today. It was a frustrating exercise but i was finally able to see where i was going wrong after trying several times.

Which brings me to today's lesson for the day. In life there are things we learn and spend so much time on to get. However , the more we do not use the skills the more we become rusty. Talk of showing those we love how much we love them. If we don't remind ourselves how it is loving someone we shall become rusty in love. Even driving if we don't practice and remind ourselves how to drive our skills deteriorate.

Married people need to remind themselves how to love each other or their love will become rusty. In most areas if  we don't spend time reminding ourselves of how we acquired or learned the good, we shall become rusty and lose that which we acquired. Has your relationship become rusty because you stopped doing those fun things? Has your body become rusty because you stopped doing the things that revitalize you? Think about it.

Tricked into Pregnancy

I didn't want to get pregnant! That man made me pregnant then abandoned me. How could he do this to me? How heartless can he be to make me pregnant then not even take me in? She tricked me by getting pregnant. She just wanted me to marry her. All she was after was my money that is why even now she is demanding for the child's up keep. So who tricked who here?

Last time i checked , when a sperm meets an egg  it gets fertilized. This only means that any fertile being who willingly agrees to get intimate with a person of the opposite sex they should be ready to be parents. Yes every time you unzip your trousers and remove your undies be ready to be a parent. There is nothing like that lady tricked me and became pregnant. Or that man impregnated me and didn't care at all.

I know i will touch a raw nerve on a few people but that is the plain truth. If you are not ready to be a parent then you are not ready to have sex. Choices have consequences and if you decide to have sex be ready to be a parent. All these pregnancy preventive measures can fail that is what we all need to understand. The only sure way to not be a parent when you don't want to be a parent is zipping up and wearing your undies.

How about we all take the consequences of our pleasures in sex. Pay up that child support as a father. If you are eating you should spare some to feed your child. After all you did unzip your trouser. As a mother clean up after your child without complaining how you are too young to be a mother. Each time we give in into the pleasures of our body we should be ready for the consequences. So NO there is nothing like being tricked into pregnancy.

Thoughts of Expiration

Someone asked me this morning where i get my inspiration from. Sometime back if this question was posed to me , I don't think i would have had an answer. Lets just say i was just living; going about my duties just as life expected me to. Actually there was a timetable of what to do at a certain time. Someone somewhere used to make decisions for me.But you see as time passed the timetable was no longer there. There was no routine to follow as dictated by another. I grew up and started living on my own. So now an inspiration was needed.
 There have been times when I needed motivation. I tried to look at my mother so that she would motivate me. She did a good job but there would be times when I needed the inspiration but she too needed it and it wasn't possible for her to inspire me. I turned to my friends and you see the story was the same. I turned to my job but then that too didn't work for me.

So I called me, myself and I for a meeting to deliberate on life. As the three of us sat I realized that the only things that are constant in my life was myself and God. This meant if i was to remain inspired and not run out of inspiration I had to draw it on the only two constant things in my life; God and myself. We have friends but as hard as it is to accept they too have a life to live and may not be always there for us. So yes I made a decision to inspire myself. Each day I take it upon myself to think positively and ask God to guide me.

It sounds easy when said but believe me its not . There will be times when i feel so down needing some wise words to cheer me on and as hard as it is I make the decision to change my focus. I make a decision to choose and think right. The reason most of us walk expired instead of inspired is because we encourage thoughts that are expired within ourselves.

You will never get a good job, You are not smart, You are a failure, You are Alone , You are not good enough. How about you start inspiring yourself instead of taking yourself to expiry. Last i checked we never go to the supermarket to buy expired things. So Why should you continue to encourage expired thoughts?

Might you be having a small god?

We serve a jealous God!!

It's not until few minutes ago that i have come to really understand what this phrase truly means.Not once have I asked why its taking so long for some of my prayer items to be answered. There have been times when I have prayed for something and it was answered or prayed for someone and their prayer item was answered. However in my human nature i will wonder why this one thing is taking too long to answer.Well , today i know why...I serve a jealous God.

I have come to adore the prayer item and not adore God. Some of us adore being married . Each day they wake up they think of how life would be if they are married. Even in church instead of listening to the sermon you are busy admiring other people's families and wishing it was your own. Some adore their spouses that they feel helpless when s/he isn't around. Some adore cars; they feel that because they have one they are better than anyone else. Some will adore their bodies and feel their curvaceous or well built muscles make them better than others. Some adore getting a job and that is all they think about and trust will take them out of their misery. Some are adoring getting babies.But  you know what, we serve a jealous God.

That thing that you are constantly thinking about and think you need to be complete is drawing you further from God. You have made it into your small god. You have come to adore it. If we don't change and adore the only true God it will lead to our down fall. Its not that thing or person that you have or are asking to have that will give you peace and satisfaction. God is the only person that can give you peace and satisfaction. His word is the only thing you can carry all the days to encourage you. So my dear friends isn't it time we stopped making small gods of ourselves here on earth and instead trust in God for our peace and satisfaction? Don't allow the pleasures of the flesh or expectations of the society to turn you into their slave and pull you away from God. Think about it this evening.

A Neatly Spread Bed

You will agree with me that the neatness of the bedroom always depends on the bed. Just like the neatness of the sitting room and kitchen depend on the couch and cooker respectively. Each week provides an opportunity to freshen up my bed by spreading new clean sheets. The days have been ending with so many activities over the weekend and couldn't spread my bed till yesterday .

During the cold season the duvet and two blankets came in handy. Its now the hot season and i spread the bed making no alterations. When i finally retired to bed it was too hot covering myself as i did during the cold season. To enjoy my good night sleep i had to kick out one blanket and the duvet. Its a different season and i need to adjust with it or i will not enjoy my sleep.

Which brings me to today's lesson for the day. Change happens to each of us and seasons keep changing. We may wish to remain as we were but that only means we suffer the consequences of resisting change. There will be times when we will be required to move into new locations but we resist the move and suffer the consequences of remaining where we are. There will be times we will be required to meet new people and learn from them but we continue to push for the old click of people we are familiar with. Well the truth of the matter is seasons keep changing and we need to adjust accordingly so that we fit it.

What is this change that you need to make but you keep resisting for fear of unknown? What are these duvets and blankets you need to keep away because its a new season but you keep covering yourself with them hence not sleeping peaceful. Lets all remember change is never bad its resisting change that makes things unbearable. Lets all choose to have an open mind to embrace change this year.May God give us wisdom and courage to embrace change.

 

Emergency Account

A friend of mine recently secured a job in a local NGO and from the looks of it she is happy. She has tarmacked for long before getting a job and she has every right to enjoy her money right now. Like many people she has decided to start living on her own and therefore has bills to pay. So i asked her one of those questions that are hard to answer.If you were to lose your job today would you be able to pay your bills the next three months without borrowing and her answer was No. Hence the reason for this article today.

A lot of us when we get jobs we become comfortable. We forget that we are under another person's authority and they can decide they no longer require our services and we have no choice but leave. Some employers take time to process our final dues while others don't give us money for the years of service we have offered them. Hence the reason for an emergency account.

An emergency account is an account that one can fall back on  in-case of an emergency and hence not incur unplanned debts. This money should be highly liquid, that is easily accessible. It should be an equivalent of your three months pay to ensure you are at a safer position. Below are key points to having one:

• Start by knowing the amount that totals up to your three months pay
• Draw up your budget and set aside some money each month to accumulate into the target amount
• Define your emergencies so that you don't misuse your account
• Open a separate account from your normal account. Preferably open a savings account.
• Once you attain your target  think of a way in which you could invest and increase your money. Remember as years go on so does the cost of living  so you need to be prepared

As a family the same thing should be done. A couple need to sit and plan for their expenses and start saving towards it. To ensure discipline let it be a joint account so that there is discipline and agreements on when to use the money. As a couple define your emergencies. The account will go a long way to ensure that should one of you lose their job the house hold expenses are still met with ease.


How about you begin the year with this great decision of opening an emergency account. Remember its never change that is bad its resisting change that makes things uncomfortable for you. And a journey to complete a million mile walk starts with a single step. Now is the best time to start one if you have none. All the best.

 

Without a Connector ; All Useless

Today morning for some reason i wanted to sleep more. I had picked what to wear halfway so i wasn't sure which handbag to carry. When i finally decided on the top it warranted me to pick out a different handbag. Hence had to transfer all my stuff into the handbag i was carrying.The office can get boring so i normally carry my hard drive to listen to some music as i do my duties. When i got to work upon taking out the hard drive i realized the cable to connect it to the lap top was missing. I must have dropped it without noticing when transferring my items. So in as much i have all the music stored up in the hard drive its all useless without the connection.

Looking at it in our daily life we all need a connection. Where is your connector ? Do you know your connector? Who can help you find it?Some of us have stored up so much talent but they lack a connection so the talent is all useless as its not being put into use. As a country we have so much wealth but we lack the connection to dig out the wealth. We have all been blessed in many ways but need to find the right connection to be able to use our blessings for the benefit of all.

This first Thursday of the year i pray that we all find the right connection that we may bring out our gifts and talents. I pray that our leaders may enter into the right connections for our country this year. Ask God to give you your connection that His purpose over your life may come forth.
Happy New year to us all

Get Out of Debts This Year

Debts are ok to have but on the other hand they can be a nightmare. If you have asked your friend to lend you money and not repaid on the date agreed you are not credit worthy. If you don’t know the total amount of debts you owe you are heading in the wrong direction. If you have lost friends because you owed them money and failed to pay you are not credit worthy. If you no longer answer strange numbers because your creditors could be calling you are not credit worthy. If the landlord has kicked you out more than one time because of unpaid rent you are not credit worthy.

The fact of the matter is at a certain point in our lives we will have creditors and it’s not unusual to have them. However when your liabilities exceed your income then you know you have a debt problem and you need to sit down and make an exit plan of your bad debts. 

Here are the basic steps to get out of debts

•     List all the debts you have so that they sum up to the actual figure.

•  Classify them in order of priority; list in order of urgency.

•  After they are in order of priority start clearing the least debt to the highest. This will motivate you to see you can get off debt.

•   Draw up your budget to ensure all essential needs are met first; food, shelter, transport to work... In your budget cut down on luxuries as they can be used to offset the debts.

•  From your assured monthly income have a stated amount to offset the debt.

•   Talk to your creditors and commit yourself to clearing the debt little by little till it’s cleared

•   To ensure discipline you can agree on fines if amount stated isn’t paid without notice. This instills discipline

•  Plan a reward for yourself once you get off a debt. Keeps you motivated.

Above all remember a journey to a million miles begins with the first step. Just as you have over the years accumulated debts, you can over the years get out of debts. Many have done it and I want to believe you can too. In all you do don’t forget to ask God to guide your steps. If you have a family it’s important that you involve them in this exit plan so that they understand why certain luxuries will have to be forgone.

If it’s possible for you to pay off all your creditors and remain with one the easier it will be. However ensure that the creditor you chose to remain with doesn’t charge you higher interest than which you would have paid had you paid creditors individually. What I am saying is if there is a place one can borrow money that is more flexible in terms of payment plans go for it. For example a family account; one can borrow money from the family pay off all their creditors and remain paying back into the family account. Caution should be exercised on this one too so that one doesn’t become too lenient in clearing the debt as family should never lose their trust in you due to money as it can have dire consequences.

This year is the year to instil financial discipline. It is possible to live within your means.