The Good , Bad , Ugly and Beauty of Social Groups.

 I don't know about you but I am in : welfare , several social media, chama and activities groups. The other day through the Gratitude journey, I took time to reflect on the friends I have had since childhood. It was quite a revelation I must add. The benefits of the Gratitude journey have been enormous for me. Anyway back to the groups.

I took time to reflect on the groups I am in. It was a moment of self reflection and cleaning up. The revelation is what I wish to share with you. 

- The groups are quite a number. 

- Do I have regrets for being in any of them? No

- Is everything shared, said and discussed of relevance to me? No

- Are there people who I could wish away? Yes

- Are there people I would miss if they left the group? Yes

- Does everyone in the group have to like me? No

- Do the groups add value to me? Yes

- Can I please and satisfy everyone in the group? No even God doesn't🤷🏾‍♀️

- Does my opinion in the group have to be similar to everyone? No

The above questions brought so much revelation to me. The peace that came with the revelation is liberating. I made a decision to identify my purpose for being in each group. This is what shall determine how long I last as a member. 

The reality is these social groups have all kinds of people. Different personalities, objectives and going through different struggles and levels in life. One can therefore not expect harmony. There will be those with an objective to abuse others in the group. There are those dealing with self esteem issues and will want to put everyone down. On the flip side there those that want to spread love and grow others. Who each of us becomes is up to us. It's a choice everyone makes in life. Social groups are no different from individuals. After all they pull individuals together. 

My analysis made me resolve to not let any individual drawing me away from my objective bother me. It's the same thing in life. Someone said we cannot keep throwing stones at every dog that barks at you. It could be barking because it's in pain and you not a vet. Or it could have seen a fly and it's barking in excitement. This is wasting valuable time you would have used to reach your destination. Well of course there those that bark to alert you of danger or because they are excited to see you. These dogs you don't ignore. You give them attention because they are valuable in ensuring you get to your destination as a whole. 

Forgive me for using the dog analogy but I hope the message is home. Don't carry things said in social groups to heart. Don't carry things said to you by individuals to heart. Don't try to transform everyone to yourself. Don't try to please and satisfy all. Identify your objective and purpose. Then stick to it. Change only when you are convinced it adds value to your life not subtracts value to you.

The questions to us all are: 

1. What are the objectives of all the groups I am in? 

2. Are the objectives being fulfilled?