Deadlines and Must Haves of Life

I had targeted by age of 32 to have finished giving birth to my three children. God has a sense of humor because, I started giving birth at 32 years and at 35 yrs I have one child. I remember how I wanted marriage at 26 yrs. and when that didn't happen, I questioned everything around me and felt lost. I wondered what was wrong with me. In fact I think my need to have been married at 26 made me make some serious relationship mistakes and make a person's son miserable. I have recently let go of the thought that I am committing adultery because I am yet to do a church wedding (But this is key because I need to go back to receiving Holy Communion). Not forgetting I started my masters 9 years ago and I have not been able to attain the certificate to date. Getting my masters was so important to me it gave me anxiety that resulted into depression. Yes, I have suffered from depression and its trigger has always been my masters. I know you wondering depression because of masomo (school). Na wenye walifika class 2?? (What of those that didn't attend any schooling or attended low levels of schooling). Clearly different things matter to us.

I recently made a call to people to join me on a 4 week Gratitude journey.  The journey is about appreciating different aspects of life daily over a period of 4 weeks. Each day there are daily exercises to be undertaken and I am charged with the responsibility of formulating the exercises.  I would wake up by 3 am sometimes even earlier because I needed to have shared the exercises by 7 am. I would say it was easy and I coped well because I went about my normal daily duties without any fatigue. My body adjusted, so I thought. We began week 2 and I got overwhelmed and the desire to bake , spend time with my daughter and catch up with some sleep as I am working from home could not be fulfilled .  I was unable to meet the 7 am timeline. It’s even crazy that there is a day I slept at 3 am and by 6 am I got up to finalize on some pending exercises.  All in the bid to ensure I introduce a new aspect of gratitude when I am supposed to. I also participate in doing the exercises but had not been able to because the work load was too much. It gave me too much pressure that I felt overwhelmed. 

Then something happened and Reality Struck! I came to the realization that as humans we are so focused on deadlines and achieving this or that, it’s ridiculous madness. We run around so as not to be late and have this and that even when it’s clearly not a matter of life and death. All this running and catching up is significantly responsible for our unhappiness and sometimes costs us our lives.

It’s about time we appreciate the quality of what we finish with and have at the end of it all. Let’s release all these deadlines we have put for ourselves and must haves we have put in our heads which aren't a matter of life and death. Let us aim at finishing better and strong or getting quality and long lasting. Let us aim at arriving safe and remaining alive and happy. What is the significance of completing something and losing your children in the process? What is the significance of getting something and not enjoy having it because the pressure to get it eventually resulted in health complications? 

What I am saying to us all let's release ourselves from all these deadlines and must haves. They may not be a matter of life and death. Let's stop being prisoners of deadlines and must haves. Let us enjoy life. Let us take time to smell roses in our lives. Let us take time to sit and do nothing. Even siting and doing nothing is something. Get up and decide to bask, Vitamin D is important. Sit out and just breathe. Run around your bedroom naked. Life has got us too busy with deadlines and must haves we forget to breath. We survive by God's grace. Glory to Him. 

From today take time to catch up on your life. Make that special meal, play a game, run after a chicken. Dance, Shout... Hey it’s never that serious after all. It’s time to embark on the good life God wanted us to have. In the end God isn't limited by time or possessions. Time and everything in the world belongs to Him. Let us give up controlling time and wealth and allow God to take charge.