What is your viewing ground?

Today morning I opened the computer and for the first time I took a deep look at the screen saver. The images at the foreground looked bigger than those of the background. This is not a new phenomena as my Arts and Craft teacher told me when drawing that is a key aspect of drawing.As i continued to look at the screen saver I noticed the colors on the foreground were darker than those on the middle and back ground. This again isn't a new phenomena and it was part of the skills i was taught while drawing a landscape image.

 As I dwelled into the images sizes and their colors, it occured to me that the reality is that those images in the foreground are no different than those in the background. If i was to position myself in the background the imagesof the foreground would now become smaller and less colorful. I looked at it in real life and wondered how I can apply it practically. I realized that most of the times when I am worried and anxious about things is because I look at issues at the foreground. This means that they appear bigger and of a deeper color than they really are.

So I have made a resolution to look at things from the background. So next time I am caught up in a situation, I will take a deep breath and ask which ground I am looking at situation. The reality of life and situations is that they are not as big as we picture them to be. Always remember that the images are the same color and size its the ground you chose to view them that makes all the difference. Hope its a resolution you can utilize.

Have a lovely and blessed day.

A CHILD’S LETTER TO A STRAY FATHER

Dear Father,

Let me start by thanking God for giving me this opportunity to write to you and for watching over me till this far; a grown up adult ready to have a family of their own. In fact, the elders in my church have been on my case effortlessly trying to hook me up with the singles in the church. And dad they are all fine looking people that all leave me perplexed at God’s awesome creation.

Enough of the introduction let me get to it. This is a very specific letter and considering you are a busy man, with your own family now, I would not want to take much of your time. Not to mention the fact that you have made a mark in your life by breaking records in your professional life. Anyone who knows that part of you would want you as their role model. Unfortunately, you have another side of you and that is the side I want us to talk about.

Remember years back, there was this lady who loved you to death and would have given up everything to make you happy? The one you had sworn to love till eternity? The one with whom you unionized your naked self as a sign that you were one with her? The one you knew her heart skipped every time she saw you? The one you made pregnant and all over sudden you did not know her? The one whom you accused of being a whore when she told you, you are the father to her unborn child? The one you ran out on and blocked all her calls, moved into a new location, and gave strict orders to the watchman that she should never be allowed in? Well I am sure you do remember her not unless you are having selective amnesia. She eventually gave birth and to a God’s creation, Me.

This creation that that you left behind has few things to let out to you and I do hope you take you read all the way down.


The Boy Child to his Father
See when I was growing up I needed to be a man. I needed to know how to act like a man but you see dad unfortunately there was no man to learn from. I was the laughing stalk in my school; boys in my school would tease me for not having the ‘normal’ surname. I learned the hard way how to protect my mum from strangers that came to harm her; it was only natural since I was the man of the house. When I cleared primary school, it was time for me to be initiated into manhood; that was the most trying time ever. Mother could not take me to the seminar as the boys were to be accompanied by their fathers. Lucky for me, mum wised up and tricked her brother into taking me. Uncle saved me from another humiliation as I entered into an important stage in my life.

Did I mention the part where mother had to work two jobs to provide for us? As you may remember she was not able to complete her studies since she got pregnant with me. Upon my arrival she was charged with the sole responsibility of providing for her child. The supposedly  father of her child, you, had taken off from her as if she had just contracted a highly killer airborne disease. So anyway I know you had your excuses I bet one is you were too young to be a father and that you had no job to provide for mum and me. Well father that is crap! Why didn’t you ever bother to find us after you settled financially? If you knew you were not ready to be a father why did you enter into an intimate relationship with mum? If you were not ready to be a father well hell yes you were not ready for sex. Simply put you are an irresponsible human being; I really wish I could drain all my genes, of you from me, unfortunately that’s not possible.

The only thing left for me is to forgive you and to ask God to keep you strong enough for you to see me have a family of my own. I doubt I will be able to introduce you to them knowing very well till now you have never taken time to heal our relationship and ask for forgiveness for what you did to me. Whether mum refused you to see me or not, I believe there has always been a way. Just that it wasn’t of importance to you. So why now would I want you to matter to my children. I can only pray I am able to love my children in a way that I was not able to be loved by a father!

The girl child to her Father
I have always wondered what it would be like to have a man in the house. You see,dad, it was just two women in the house. I watched mother do all duties from cooking to changing bulbs and locking up the door with tables; just so that thieves would not gain entry.Mother was not earning much at that time and the place where we could comfortably stay was not so secure. Growing up was equally not easy and girls would ask all kinds of questions. Mbona huna baba, kwani ulitoka wapi? Hakuna mtoto hana baba. They would go on to explain. That and more was their day in day out tease and questions.

Well, kids are kids and I cannot blame them for being innocent but you see that time, dad, I felt abnormal. When I could not take the pressure anymore, I confronted mother about whom and where you were. I have never seen the face of mother turn more purple than it did that day. She held herself from “slapping you out of me”! When it became apparent I was not getting any answers from her I took it upon myself to make up a story of where you are, keeping away those nosy kids.

Mother brought me up well and I am now an adult woman. God blessed me and I can tell you I have all the features to make a man turn and a lady envious of me. I know I cannot undo the past and I am not defined by my parents. I have also come to know that not having a father doesn’t make me any less of other grown up Eve look-a likes. In fact I took the challenge and researched on things concerning the Adam look-a likes. I may not know it all but I believe I am not blind in that area. I look forward to having a family of my own and making my husband proud. You may not have been there for mother but I know God will give me a husband to love and protect my children. I refuse to believe all men are bad. In fact mother’s brothers and father are the living proof of great fathers. I was lucky to have them, three, as my fathers!

To the Men out there
As you can see my reader children who have missed out on fathers have lots of challenges and questions. I have not exhausted them all and I am sure each child ,brought up without their father because he left them; not by death, if asked to share their experience would have something different. That notwithstanding, I only hope that I have passed on a very important message to all men out there and that they will take it upon themselves to be the leaders God called them to be.

Men were called by God to be leaders and I know a leader is a head. Just like a company has a CEO, the man is the CEO of his house. If it is failing it’s probably because the man has not taken up his role as a leader. A man is expected to love his wife as Christ loved His Church. Christ’s expression of his love for the church was through dying for the church on the cross. Well what does that mean to you as a man? Being the leader means it’s upon the man to show the woman how to love him. I know this will not be taken kindly but it’s a fact. Show your wife respect and she will accord you the same. Show her unfaithfulness and tears and she will accord you the same.

Prayer for all our men
May God help the men of this world to learn how to be leaders and how to be fathers to their children. May He also help them perform the roles they were called to be, Providers and Bread Winners. May they understand that by being providers it’s not just pegged on material things; there is more to it like words of courage, security… Amen

Tafakari Hayo!!!

Thank you for reading.

 Mothers watch out for yours

The Picture of the man reading the letter does not mean he is the man the letter has been addressed to.

The dead Alive;Images Of Death

Today as my week comes to almost an end the thing that seems to be preoccupying my mind is death. It may seem strange to you but the past two weeks three people I know breathed their last. Their ages between 3months - 55years. The common denominator in all  of the three is that they died of natural causes.

When most of us picture death,darkness comes to mind. I actually searched for the images of death on Google and what came up to me was darkness and skeletons. I looked at this more critically and wondered if truly that is what death represents(deep analysis is my thing). To many of us we believe and think death is something totally horrible. Actually its the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.

But I couldn't help but look at the people who are alive today. We continue to live in dark cocoons of  ourselves with skeletons in our closet. The truth is some of us embraced death a long time ago but look at those that are physically dead to be in horrible situations. What is the point of walking aimlessly without purpose in life? What is the aim of living and yet still harbor so much bitterness for the people around you that you live a dead life?

If death is darkness and so bad. Why do we who are alive continue to encourage harbor so many skeletons in our ward robe which is our heart? We may not have control of death and even prevent it from coming but one thing I know is we can make the choice to live in the light. Let us learn that the flesh we have is to cover our bones till such a time we shall be skeletons and cannot represent any life.

Being able to breath each moment is an opportunity for each one of us to reinvent ourselves. Its an opportunity to be better people and be that change we want and desire.
Have a blessed day.

My Friend turned Foe

Yesterday I was all excited rushing home to prepare rice and pork. It had been a tiring day and I knew a good home cooked meal would cheer me on. As soon I opened the door I heard my friend making noise from the kitchen and I knew things are not going to be smooth as I had thought. No sooner had I closed the main door than I noticed him advancing to my direction. Without a second thought I knew I had to dash and close the outlet from which he was able to access my sitting room...

Yes my cousin forgot to close the tap and water had flowed half way into the sitting room. I drained buckets and buckets of water thinking of the lesson this incidence was meant to teach me and this was my conclusion.

In life we all have friends that help us in our everyday life. Water from the taps in our house is a good friend we use to help us in our daily living. However the same water if left unattended with open taps will lead to lots of destruction and become a foe. We therefore need to know there is a limit to which we allow the water to flow from the tap.In the same way, we need to know there is a limit to which we allow our friends to medal in our life. Too much meddling will be destruct-full. It is important for us to have a tap to control what we allow to come into our life and to what extent we allow it in.

Hope it makes sense to you as it did to me. Have a blessed day.

File to one level.

Over the weekend i had lots of cleaning to do my back hurts till now. I still wonder how i would perform if i was to go to the garden all day. The only thing i can say in all this is that everything takes getting used to. Perhaps more frequent cleaning would resolve having aches all over. Let me state that when I do the cleaning myself I feel really satisfied with the standards which is never the case when another person does it. Oh well like i said it will take some getting used to.

So anyway during cleaning my nails chirp and some end up longer than others. I find them looking untidy and so I have to manicure them a process which involves filing to bring them to the same level. Once done i am filled with admiration and feel proud of myself.The growth of the nails is uniform and i am able to maintain tidy nails.

Applying this to real life. I thought about the various situation that present themselves in life. More so in relationships. At some point a spouse may find themselves at a higher level than their partner. During such situations its important that those involved figure out how to get to a level ground. That way like my nails they are able to grow together. Situations will call for the two sitting and looking what is more practical moving down to get to the level of the one who is lower or growing the one who is down to get them to the level of the one who is up. Let me give you an example.

If two people are in an argument and one is shouting at the top of their voice. The only way to come to a level they can move together is to lower the one who is shouting.Only then can they have a decent conversation. Say two one partner is feeling low and down the only right thing to do is to see how best the happy one can lift the spirits of the one who is low. That way there is a lot of calm in the house and planning of things becomes easier.

So yes situations will call for filing down to enable growth together and neatly. And at times it will take getting down to the level one partner is to raise them up so that you can move together.

Hope it makes sense to you.

Open Your Eyes Kenya

I Have shared this video to help give vision to those who have eyes but cannot see. Lets help our blind see better and share the video

The Discomfort Does Ease Off

I am a lover of shoes and its always a challenge resisting a good pair of shoes especially when i have some extra cash to spare. Sometime late last year i traveled to Uganda on a pilgrimage to the place where the martyrs of Uganda were tortured and killed. During the visit we went shopping and i managed to get some very nice pairs of shoes at a fair price. When i wore the shoe they fit well and i was sure they would blend well with some handbags i had back home. When i got home i couldn't wait to wear my shoes and as proof i had taste i was complimented on them.  Unfortunately that day i was very uncomfortable as the shoes felt a bit tighter. I wished i had another pair of shoes but i didn't. So instead i chose to wear the shoes only when i left the office desk.

I didn't know what to do with the shoes because i couldn't take them back  where I purchased them . I wished i had picked a bigger pair of shoe but that was just wishful thinking.On this realization, i knew i had to make it work for me and more so because i loved the shoes. The fact that when i wore the shoes at the shop they fit well, i knew the discomfort wouldn't last long. Each time i removed the shoes after cleaning them i would stuff some papers in them. The shoes presently do fit well and sure enough i had picked the right shoe; the first day at the shop.  In fact they seem a little bigger now. Had i gone back and picked a bigger shoe, after sometime they would have been too big to wear.

Today morning as i reflected on what has transpired and related it to real life , i thought about marriage life. At the beginning of the marriage we all are sure that the person we chose is the one we want to spend the rest of our life with. When we take our partners home and begin to go about our day to day activities things become thick and we start doubting if we picked out the right partner. This is when the discomfort comes in we wish we can go back and return our partner and pick another but we cannot.

The important thing to remember is that the discomfort in marriage doesn't last long. If we go out and pick another partner the discomforts will still arise. That is why we need to draw the line and learn to persevere through the discomfort stage. With our efforts and adjustments here and there the partner we chose in the first place soon becomes our perfect match. So yes i do believe marriage does become comfortable but only for those that endure the discomforting period.

May God give us wisdom to understand this. Have a blessed day.

Flavors of Life

Whenever i have gone to the restaurant and ordered for beef stew it always seems to have a different taste from the one that i prepare in my house.The only is a key ingredient in both is beef. The reason the beef stew tastes different is usually because of the other additional ingredients those preparing choose to add. At the end of the day the key ingredient can stand on its own and all what other ingredients used does is give it a different flavor.

Looking at it in everyday life. As an individual you remain a key component in making the meal your life. It doesn't mean that without the things that the world offers like spouse, physical assets you cannot live a complete life. In real sense these things remain a flavoring into one's life. With or without the flavors the meal of life would be complete because the key ingredients ( God and Oneself) are in existence.

Of importance to remember is that just like the additional ingredients while making beef stew can make it taste good they can make it taste bad. The key thing for the chef while making his stew is to balance them appropriately with the beef just to give it the right taste. Its up to the chef to know that a kilo of beef may need more flavors compared to a quarter kilo of beef.

In the same way an individual needs to find balance of their life and the things that aren't a constant in their life. Recognize that a spouse could be a carrot and not having carrots the beef can still have coriander and taste good. Recognize that the flavors of life can be substituted for each other but never can you substitute the beef for chicken as that becomes chicken stew not beef stew. God and an individual are the key ingredient in life. Don't let the flavors alter your key meal and overpower you. Don't let a spouse rule over your life. Don't let a friend rule over your life. Find balance and learn to substitute the flavors and enjoy your beef stew which is your life.

Could it be Because you are Rusty?

Sometime back i was asked to collect some data at work then analyze it. During that time i was given the task i didn't know how to go about the task. After i had gathered all the information i needed it was time to put it in summation and come up with figures that would help draw some inferences on. Previously, I had used excel but not in the magnitude that the work required me to be knowledgeable on. Lucky for me Google provided answers on various functions on excel to simplify my work. That was like a year ago. Today morning i needed to make a template to aid in data input and this proved a difficult task.

I had not used the functions on excel since the last task and with that become rusty. I needed a refresher course to make a good template. Functions that i had mastery on proved difficult to configure today. It was a frustrating exercise but i was finally able to see where i was going wrong after trying several times.

Which brings me to today's lesson for the day. In life there are things we learn and spend so much time on to get. However , the more we do not use the skills the more we become rusty. Talk of showing those we love how much we love them. If we don't remind ourselves how it is loving someone we shall become rusty in love. Even driving if we don't practice and remind ourselves how to drive our skills deteriorate.

Married people need to remind themselves how to love each other or their love will become rusty. In most areas if  we don't spend time reminding ourselves of how we acquired or learned the good, we shall become rusty and lose that which we acquired. Has your relationship become rusty because you stopped doing those fun things? Has your body become rusty because you stopped doing the things that revitalize you? Think about it.

Tricked into Pregnancy

I didn't want to get pregnant! That man made me pregnant then abandoned me. How could he do this to me? How heartless can he be to make me pregnant then not even take me in? She tricked me by getting pregnant. She just wanted me to marry her. All she was after was my money that is why even now she is demanding for the child's up keep. So who tricked who here?

Last time i checked , when a sperm meets an egg  it gets fertilized. This only means that any fertile being who willingly agrees to get intimate with a person of the opposite sex they should be ready to be parents. Yes every time you unzip your trousers and remove your undies be ready to be a parent. There is nothing like that lady tricked me and became pregnant. Or that man impregnated me and didn't care at all.

I know i will touch a raw nerve on a few people but that is the plain truth. If you are not ready to be a parent then you are not ready to have sex. Choices have consequences and if you decide to have sex be ready to be a parent. All these pregnancy preventive measures can fail that is what we all need to understand. The only sure way to not be a parent when you don't want to be a parent is zipping up and wearing your undies.

How about we all take the consequences of our pleasures in sex. Pay up that child support as a father. If you are eating you should spare some to feed your child. After all you did unzip your trouser. As a mother clean up after your child without complaining how you are too young to be a mother. Each time we give in into the pleasures of our body we should be ready for the consequences. So NO there is nothing like being tricked into pregnancy.