With two dead rats in his hands; he walked.

I love taking a walk in the morning eyes wide open as I observe what is around me. A morning walk also provides a great opportunity fo me to reflect on things that I want to accomplish during the day. Today wasn't a different day and though I had things up my sleeves I managed to observe my surrounding and learn something for the day.

As I walked this mad man, this is my assumption not medically confirmed, walked passed me. It was only when he was infront of me that I got to clearly see what he was carrying and was wearing. He had a trouser and a short on his knees, normally I would expect the short to fall off but it didn't guess it had been sown together with the trouser somehow. I thought i had seen enough until i saw in his hand he had two dead rats. He held them by the tail and their heads were half way chopped off. Not puking wasn't easy. I knew I had to walk on a different side from him but luckily he changed before i could and I walked briskly for fear that he could throw them at me. All that walked passed him expressed shock in their face; but he walked as if nothing was amiss. To him he was doing the right thing and nothing was abnormal. Only we who felt its out of the norm got disgusted. And there was my lesson for the day.

See friends, not everything we choose to do will be applauded by people. If anything they will think we are mad for taking the steps or the path we choose in life. But does it mean really that they are right and we are wrong? The answer is NO!! There will be a time in our life when we will need to walk like mad people and follow our own path. I am sure the "Mad" man i saw earlier carrying the rats had his own reason and it felt right. Lets learn to follow what we feel is right and not what people around us think is normal. Who knows they may be the mad people after all. And again just like we walked passed the mad man , so shall those that think we are mad for your actions.

Lets always remember the only constant person we have our whole life is our own self. Don't focus on pleasing others because you have no control of others just your own self.

Happy Thursday.

Trim the grass and clear it from the field

I love nature guess it has bits to do with having one of my role model as Wangari Maathai. She was an icon of the environment. While she did so much to protect it, I take time to appreciate the calmness that nature brings. My work place provides a very good atmosphere to be around nature. There is this one place I like to frequent over lunch time and will take time to say my prayers there too. Today was no different.

For the past days I have been there, the grass had grown and well it may not have interfered with my love for nature but it wasn't as beautiful as it was today. When i went to visit the peace path I found the grass had been neatly trimmed and cleared from the place. Looking at it, I felt so happy being in a well manicured garden. The gardener had even cleared the grass he had cut , so it was just awesome to look at and with that i had my lesson for the day.

See friends, we have each been blessed with beautiful things whose presence we enjoy. The beautiful things around us need care if they are going to continue being beautiful. We can take time to trim the grass but if we trim and leave it there, it won't be a pleasant scenery. This is true in all areas of our lives, socially, emotionally, professionally or spiritually or financially. If we keep leaving the waste after removing it in the areas of our life the beauty in them won't be enhanced or visible.

What i am saying to us all today is that when you don't like something in any area of your life remove it completely. Don't trim and dump it next to you as it will make those areas unpleasant. If for example there is a misunderstanding between you and your spouse talk it out and clear it off. And once its out don't keep record and remind your spouse each time (women have this weakness). If its you that has failed in one way or the other in accomplishing a task, learn from it and move on. Don't keep dwelling on your failure, forgive yourself and get on with life. By so doing the beauty around the areas in your life will be constant. Its keeping rubbish in our life that makes it ugly.

Hope it made sense to you that managed to read the whole piece.

God blessings to you all

Dust Off Before a New Start

Today morning I arrived at work ready for the first day at work in the year 2015. I was the first to get into the office and most cleaning had not been done. Well its actually done when we are in the office. So anyway when I opened the door the office was stuffy and it was only after opening the windows that it aired up.

I love hot water and will always boil and keep in the flask to drink as the day proceeds. We had safely stored the utensils in the cabinet as the the office was being fumigated. This therefore meant before using the utensils I had to thoroughly wash them. My desk was no different, not being used for about two weeks meant dust had accumulated with no one to wipe it. It was after all the surrounding was clean that I finally was able to sit on my desk. And this was my lesson for the day.

See we all want to make a brand new start. Many times we have set out to make new year resolutions at the beginning of the year. But see friends we need to clear out dirts we had accumulated before we can be ready for a great start. If we don't dust off we shall get dirty even before we start. My prayer for us this day is that we know what we need to clean out as we make a brand new start. That which we have planned to quit lets seek to understand what drives us to it so that we can dust it off. That which we plan to start I pray that we are able to dust ourselves off baggage that may hinder us from starting.
 
I pray I am able to continue writing this year and sharing with you all the daily lessons that I am able to decipher from my everyday activities and experiences..

God Bless us all.

Single Status

Today the african world seems to judge single persons so harshly, particularly ladies who cross a certain age. So harsh that some actually will propose that the lady gets a child fathered by any man just to seem normal. So harshly that a man engaged to be married would actually deny his fiancee just to get this lady "out of her misery" So harshly that a married man would actually propose to the single to have her as his secret affair and even father her child. So harshly that the married women avoid them because they think that they are "eyeing" their husband. So harshly that the men and women in the village talk behind their back saying they are not normal. So harshly that even the pastors in the church will hold prayers because they are biwitched and that is why no man can "eye them". So harshly that a man is willing to have sex with them to cure them of their sexual desires no strings attached. So harshly that even traditions have a special name for a lady that dies having not been married. So harshly that if they prosper as a single lady its because they are a walking business. So harshly that among the children the one that isn't married is treated like an outcast.

Its time we face and accept that marriage is an institution ordained by God. And just like we were not born at the same time by the same parents, marriage doesn't happen for all at the same time. Just like we have blind people and people with sight, we cannot all be married or be parents. Just because sugar is there not everyone puts it into their tea so not everyone feels they need to be sexual to live. Let us stop glorifying things that are not in anyone's control.

Singlehood isn't a disease that needs urgent cure no matter the cost. One can be single and happy , single and miserable , married and happy , married and miserable. Happiness will not be brought by a spouse and neither will fulfillment. Only God gives fulfillment and happiness will and always has been a personal responsiblity.

I know i have touched a raw nerve and the truth is i have no apologies all the same.

A crack in my Cup

I am a lady who loves to drink hot water in the office. Don't ask why, but well because its healthy and good remedy to lose weight. So anyway I have my special cup which I use in the office for my drinks. My cup and I have established a bond and I don't feel at ease using other cups.

Unfortunately for me the other day I poured hot water into the cup and the water leaked. My cup had a crack not a serious one but well I couldn't use it to take my tea or hot water anymore. As much as it hurt I had to throw it in the bin and get a cup that would serve me as well.

Today I thought about this situation as I looked at another cup whose handle broke . I however decided to keep and use it to store my utensils super brite. I didn't see how else I would use the cup in the office hence I threw it away.  The reality that hit me was so hard for me to put in writing and I can tell you I have really struggled to write this piece.

This was my revelation- we are cups too in our day to day lives. We are useful to those that are in our life for a certain purpose. However time comes when we crack and no longer perform the task those that have had us need us to perform. As harsh as it may sound well we often get thrown in the dustbin and in this case we get kicked out of their life.

Its never that they mean to be rude but they need a functioning cup (person). Well that is why we are actually sent home on retirement. The cup I threw isn't useless if anything it can be used to keep coins or even plant a seedling but it can't perform the task it once did.

The message that came to me is that when its clear one isn't wanted the best thing is to move on to another and you will find one that needs you. The same is true for jobs. The broken cups are collected and remade into new cups. Same way sometimes we need to remould ourselves to fit into previous tasks or embrace new roles all together.

I hope this message has made sense to you. It was really a hard one for me to swallow but I received it well and thought I share

A distant yet close memory

Its been years and yet this one day I can't seem to forget. Its a day all about you and your existence. Even before the day dawned and I pretended I didn't care my thoughts said otherwise. I wished I could call , text and perhaps send my happy thoughts to you but I held back. Not for anything, but because a new chapter opened in your life and that is the chapter that should really matter.

We all have people in our lives whose memories we wish we could erase but there is always a day and a moment when those memories come rushing in. Memories that bring you joy and at the same time sadness ; not because they are bad, but because you can never relive those happy times. Either distance happened or people happened that created a permament wall to ensure that the worlds never meet again.

Its a distant past that we all wish could remain burried but the truth is until we get to make new memories with new people, Memories of the past will always appear and seem to be real and fresh in the present.

A CHILD’S LETTER TO A STRAY MOTHER

It is really amazing that our paths of life have crossed once more. Never did I imagine this day would ever come to see the woman to who I owe my life to for carrying me in her womb for 9 months. You truly are an amazing woman mother because unlike the others you chose not to abort me. I thank and bless God for your life every day that I have lived. Enough of chit chat introductions let us head to the reason for this letter.

Years ago while you were still a young woman, you, fell in-love with a man and well as fate would have it a baby was conceived as a fruit of love. I hear it was all celebrations as the first grandchild was ushered into this world. Not forgetting a man’s first child to continue in his linage. Unknown to the child the joy was not shared with the mother, she felt she had lots to do than look after an infant, and well soon packed her luggage and left a month’s old baby with its father and grandparents. Well mother that child is me and as you can see years passed and I am all grown up. Let me take you into my world of growing up without you by my side mother.

A Girl to Her Mother
As a young girl the love of her father seems to be all she needs.  Thanks God father was the first born in his family and since there was no girl in the family he had learned how to look after infants. Dad told me stories of how he would feed me milk from the cow and the endless nights he had to stay awake. Not forgetting my immunity was down and I would constantly be hospitalized. God is good I did get past the toddler stage. It was dad who would cook for us. He taught me how to make tea and wash my inner wear.  When adolescence kicked it was then I realized I am missing out on a mother. How would I tell my father to buy me sanitary towels? It seemed to embarrassing for me, mother.

 As the only girl in the family with no aunties to look up to life became tough. I needed to talk to a woman as she probably understood what I was going through. Boarding school didn’t make things easy either as dad could not carry those pots of food that other children were brought by their mothers. I would envy my friends when they talked about their mothers. I would roll down on the floor cramping and dad would only sympathize with me. Lucky for me we had a seminar and got to learn some of the things we would do to ease the pain. Ha,ha,ha! I can laugh now but then it was so embarrassing when dad took me shopping for clothes. I learned the hard way how to be independent.

This independence has only made things too complex for me in my adulthood. My friends label me miss independent. A character that majority of men will shy away from. All the same mother, I am hopeful to find my match. In as much as I grew up without a mother, I am looking forward to being the best mother in the world. See unlike you who didn’t care to stay; I will stay and care for my children. I do not hate you and only pray you can forgive yourself for neglecting me.


A Boy to His Mother
As a boy the first love is always the mother. I had none of that and didn’t know what that would feel like. When I cried dad would be hard on me and tell me to man up that boys are not meant to cry. Yes I did learn how to be a man but I really don’t know how to be around women. When we went for trips back in high school, the thought of socializing made me shiver. Even if a lady approached me for directions I would just give a blank gaze. It’s not once I was thought to be gay just because I don’t know how to talk to women.  I grew up with so much resentment towards women and pictured if my own mother would abandon me what about a female stranger. I longed to have a nice home cooked meal with the touch of a lady but there was no one to offer it.

When I finally got the courage to talk to women, I became heartless. For me no woman was worth giving my heart to and I never allowed myself to fall in-love. I became a famous player from a gay suspect. I went through university and started working. To maintain the many number of women I knew I had to work hard and money was not a problem. It’s only recently that I got a pal who did a wedding that I got the feeling of wanting to settle down. I have been reading books and it’s the books that have helped me understand that not all women are like you mother. I know I will soon settle down with a lady and I have been praying she doesn’t do to our children what you did to us. God knows I have a reason to hate you but I choose not to because it would only mean I live a bitter life. You took away a mother’s love I will not allow you to take away a spouse’s love too.

To the Women out there
As you can see my reader children who have missed out on mothers have lots of challenges and questions. I have not exhausted them all and I am sure each child brought up without their mother because she left them, not by death, if asked to share their experience would have something different. That notwithstanding, I only hope that I have passed on a very important message to all women out there and that they will take it upon themselves to be the leaders God called them to be.

Women were called by God to be the helper I know that is not just any role. Just like the head is joined to the neck to support the head so is the woman’s role. If the head is moving in the wrong direction it probably doesn’t have the right support system. Women need to realize they were called to help and submit to their husbands. A woman is expected to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. The church goes humbling itself before Christ. Well what does that mean to you as a woman?
 
Being the helper means it’s upon the woman always support her husband through encouraging him and praying for him. I know this will not be taken kindly but it’s a fact. Support and submit to your husband and he will love and respect you. Mistreat your husband and he will find comfort in another woman.

Prayer for all our Women
May God help the women of this world to learn how to be supporters and how to be mothers to their children. May He also help them perform the roles they were called to be, a helper and companion. May they understand that by being helpers is not just pegged on material things; there is more to it like words of comfort, concern … Amen

Thank you for reading.

Please note the picture of this lady is not the lady being talked about

GOD’S HOUSEHOLD ITEMS

So today I woke up and well it seemed like a different day. I was all cranky and the feeling lasted for like 10minutes. So well after a fight getting out of bed I went and put on the radio. And there played one of my all-time hit songs and I was up and down swinging my hips and singing my heart out; total complete metamorphosis – moods uplifted. 

I needed to make me some tea so of course I put on my burner and within few minutes my breakfast was ready. I am not a cold shower person so I quickly heat my water and was off to the shower. I pick what to wear in the evening because I can get late deciding what to put on; blame it on gender. So I got out of the shower and pressed the clothes using an iron box and went to have my tea, sitting on the sofa I bought awhile back. The music was still playing in the background; I was using a cup to drink my tea and had put some bread on the plate. After breakfast I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush, powdered myself and locked my house using a padlock.

I am sure you are wondering this must be a little too obvious. Why would I tell you I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush, ironed my clothes using an iron box etc. Well the truth of the matter is each of the equipment I was using was designed to fit into its own purpose. The human made those manmade items to help them in their day today life. It is said that man was made in the likeness of God. And well the things that exist in natural form were created by God. Has it ever occurred to you that they were built in certain shapes and sizes for a given purpose? 

Each natural existing thing was created by God for a reason. As human beings we are all unique from each other for a certain reason. It is time we identified that reason and stopped imitating others as they fulfil the reason for their creation. Understand that you have a reason to be born different from your friend. Stop competing to be like your friend but rather compete to be who and for what God created you to be. Otherwise those copied roles will just be a mismatch for you and you shall live your life feeling inadequate.

What is your viewing ground?

Today morning I opened the computer and for the first time I took a deep look at the screen saver. The images at the foreground looked bigger than those of the background. This is not a new phenomena as my Arts and Craft teacher told me when drawing that is a key aspect of drawing.As i continued to look at the screen saver I noticed the colors on the foreground were darker than those on the middle and back ground. This again isn't a new phenomena and it was part of the skills i was taught while drawing a landscape image.

 As I dwelled into the images sizes and their colors, it occured to me that the reality is that those images in the foreground are no different than those in the background. If i was to position myself in the background the imagesof the foreground would now become smaller and less colorful. I looked at it in real life and wondered how I can apply it practically. I realized that most of the times when I am worried and anxious about things is because I look at issues at the foreground. This means that they appear bigger and of a deeper color than they really are.

So I have made a resolution to look at things from the background. So next time I am caught up in a situation, I will take a deep breath and ask which ground I am looking at situation. The reality of life and situations is that they are not as big as we picture them to be. Always remember that the images are the same color and size its the ground you chose to view them that makes all the difference. Hope its a resolution you can utilize.

Have a lovely and blessed day.

A CHILD’S LETTER TO A STRAY FATHER

Dear Father,

Let me start by thanking God for giving me this opportunity to write to you and for watching over me till this far; a grown up adult ready to have a family of their own. In fact, the elders in my church have been on my case effortlessly trying to hook me up with the singles in the church. And dad they are all fine looking people that all leave me perplexed at God’s awesome creation.

Enough of the introduction let me get to it. This is a very specific letter and considering you are a busy man, with your own family now, I would not want to take much of your time. Not to mention the fact that you have made a mark in your life by breaking records in your professional life. Anyone who knows that part of you would want you as their role model. Unfortunately, you have another side of you and that is the side I want us to talk about.

Remember years back, there was this lady who loved you to death and would have given up everything to make you happy? The one you had sworn to love till eternity? The one with whom you unionized your naked self as a sign that you were one with her? The one you knew her heart skipped every time she saw you? The one you made pregnant and all over sudden you did not know her? The one whom you accused of being a whore when she told you, you are the father to her unborn child? The one you ran out on and blocked all her calls, moved into a new location, and gave strict orders to the watchman that she should never be allowed in? Well I am sure you do remember her not unless you are having selective amnesia. She eventually gave birth and to a God’s creation, Me.

This creation that that you left behind has few things to let out to you and I do hope you take you read all the way down.


The Boy Child to his Father
See when I was growing up I needed to be a man. I needed to know how to act like a man but you see dad unfortunately there was no man to learn from. I was the laughing stalk in my school; boys in my school would tease me for not having the ‘normal’ surname. I learned the hard way how to protect my mum from strangers that came to harm her; it was only natural since I was the man of the house. When I cleared primary school, it was time for me to be initiated into manhood; that was the most trying time ever. Mother could not take me to the seminar as the boys were to be accompanied by their fathers. Lucky for me, mum wised up and tricked her brother into taking me. Uncle saved me from another humiliation as I entered into an important stage in my life.

Did I mention the part where mother had to work two jobs to provide for us? As you may remember she was not able to complete her studies since she got pregnant with me. Upon my arrival she was charged with the sole responsibility of providing for her child. The supposedly  father of her child, you, had taken off from her as if she had just contracted a highly killer airborne disease. So anyway I know you had your excuses I bet one is you were too young to be a father and that you had no job to provide for mum and me. Well father that is crap! Why didn’t you ever bother to find us after you settled financially? If you knew you were not ready to be a father why did you enter into an intimate relationship with mum? If you were not ready to be a father well hell yes you were not ready for sex. Simply put you are an irresponsible human being; I really wish I could drain all my genes, of you from me, unfortunately that’s not possible.

The only thing left for me is to forgive you and to ask God to keep you strong enough for you to see me have a family of my own. I doubt I will be able to introduce you to them knowing very well till now you have never taken time to heal our relationship and ask for forgiveness for what you did to me. Whether mum refused you to see me or not, I believe there has always been a way. Just that it wasn’t of importance to you. So why now would I want you to matter to my children. I can only pray I am able to love my children in a way that I was not able to be loved by a father!

The girl child to her Father
I have always wondered what it would be like to have a man in the house. You see,dad, it was just two women in the house. I watched mother do all duties from cooking to changing bulbs and locking up the door with tables; just so that thieves would not gain entry.Mother was not earning much at that time and the place where we could comfortably stay was not so secure. Growing up was equally not easy and girls would ask all kinds of questions. Mbona huna baba, kwani ulitoka wapi? Hakuna mtoto hana baba. They would go on to explain. That and more was their day in day out tease and questions.

Well, kids are kids and I cannot blame them for being innocent but you see that time, dad, I felt abnormal. When I could not take the pressure anymore, I confronted mother about whom and where you were. I have never seen the face of mother turn more purple than it did that day. She held herself from “slapping you out of me”! When it became apparent I was not getting any answers from her I took it upon myself to make up a story of where you are, keeping away those nosy kids.

Mother brought me up well and I am now an adult woman. God blessed me and I can tell you I have all the features to make a man turn and a lady envious of me. I know I cannot undo the past and I am not defined by my parents. I have also come to know that not having a father doesn’t make me any less of other grown up Eve look-a likes. In fact I took the challenge and researched on things concerning the Adam look-a likes. I may not know it all but I believe I am not blind in that area. I look forward to having a family of my own and making my husband proud. You may not have been there for mother but I know God will give me a husband to love and protect my children. I refuse to believe all men are bad. In fact mother’s brothers and father are the living proof of great fathers. I was lucky to have them, three, as my fathers!

To the Men out there
As you can see my reader children who have missed out on fathers have lots of challenges and questions. I have not exhausted them all and I am sure each child ,brought up without their father because he left them; not by death, if asked to share their experience would have something different. That notwithstanding, I only hope that I have passed on a very important message to all men out there and that they will take it upon themselves to be the leaders God called them to be.

Men were called by God to be leaders and I know a leader is a head. Just like a company has a CEO, the man is the CEO of his house. If it is failing it’s probably because the man has not taken up his role as a leader. A man is expected to love his wife as Christ loved His Church. Christ’s expression of his love for the church was through dying for the church on the cross. Well what does that mean to you as a man? Being the leader means it’s upon the man to show the woman how to love him. I know this will not be taken kindly but it’s a fact. Show your wife respect and she will accord you the same. Show her unfaithfulness and tears and she will accord you the same.

Prayer for all our men
May God help the men of this world to learn how to be leaders and how to be fathers to their children. May He also help them perform the roles they were called to be, Providers and Bread Winners. May they understand that by being providers it’s not just pegged on material things; there is more to it like words of courage, security… Amen

Tafakari Hayo!!!

Thank you for reading.

 Mothers watch out for yours

The Picture of the man reading the letter does not mean he is the man the letter has been addressed to.