A message to the Singles Looking forward to Marriage.

Thursday is famously known as Throw Back day. It is the day set aside to remember the things or people that happened in the yesteryears. Today as I was going to work, the radio played songs that took me down memory lane. The first to play was "Gaou" by Magic System. Years back this song would take me to the dance floor and I would dance to it like there was no tomorrow. Don't give me that look. This girl loves dancing even to date. Good music is enjoyed while dancing to its tune is my philosophy.  The second song that played was "Sitting Down Here" by Lene Marlin. The song would play in my house over and over when I had gotten hurt out of love. If you read my articles however, this view, someone hurt me, has since changed. No one hurt me. I now know I didn't know the right way to love and be loved. The hurt was self-inflicted by having expectations of another person. I have since realized the only person I should expect from is God and myself. It has been a very peaceful realization. The last song that played before I alighted was "All The Man I Need" by Whitney Houston. This song brought me to the present day. It no longer hurts to love. Its time for me to love right and be loved right. Back to the topic.

The question that was in my mind before I got married was: will I ever get married? I hated starting all over again; when things didn't happen as I hoped they would. It put me down and thoughts of perhaps I was meant to be single forever were consoling. I would entertain them and get comfortable but it was short-lived comfort. The need to be a companion would arise and I would get into the dating game. The reason why we dated and eventually broke up was that we didn't see marriage partners in each other. That is why it never worked out. Dating is meant to be a process of networking and making friends. Not all dates lead into courtship and not all courtships lead into marriage. Some people date, skip courtship and get married. The secret is to enjoy the process until you find your match. The person that sees a life companion in us eventually comes.

When a relationship takes a turn you didn't expect, seek closure then move on. It sometimes takes longer to find the right person because we don't seek to improve ourselves. We imagine the fault was the other person. We improve ourselves when we know what was good and bad in the relationship. Think of it as a postmortem of a dead relationship. That is how to mourn the dead relationship. That ensures it finally rests in peace. While the good is to be celebrated and retained, the bad needs to be done away with.

Don't allow yourself to get into another relationship before you have fully cleaned yourself off the previous one. Doing that would be like changing clothes without taking a bath after a long day's work. Forgetting that it is not the clothes that make us dirty, its the body that makes the clothes dirty. When we clean our bodies and change the clothes then we are properly groomed. We become refreshed. A shower welcomes new thinking. A dirty body in clean clothes, on the other hand, makes a dirty person in totality.No change is bound to come.

It would also be important to check the clique of friends you keep. When I constantly surrounded myself with married people,  it reminded me of what I was missing. Questions of when would I get married and enjoy what my friends were enjoying would play on and on. While It is good to get a feel of what it would be like to have that which we desire, it can also be ones undoing. Get more involved with what single people are doing. Surrounding yourself with single people will ensure you meet single people and increase your chances of getting married. Hanging around married people while you are single especially of the opposite sex increases the chances of dating married people. I consider dating a married person utterly selfish. Pure lack of self-love. But hey that is just Mrs. Waleopard K thoughts right??