What it means Finding a Life Partner

The date today is 17th August 2019. 22 years ago my uncle and aunt said their marriage vows in church. Death was and is the only thing that is to separate them. I continue to pray over their family and wish them many more years together. I celebrate them for many things.

It's safe to say at this point that my uncle had found a good thing by finding himself a wife. The Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22. But what does this mean in the deep sense? When my husband found me and made me his wife, he received and continues to receive favor from God. It's not until today that I realized how powerful the above verse is.

Wives continue to walk around complaining about their husbands. The sad thing is a majority don't realize it's through them that the husband receives favor from God. If you doubt the power a wife or woman has over her husband or a man interested in her, read the Bible again. Here are a few examples:

1. Adam disobeyed God after being convinced by Eve.
2. Abraham did as his wife instructed him. He got a child with Hagar then chased her because Sarah needed it to happen.
3. Samson lost his power through Delilah.
4. David almost lost his glory because of Bethsheba.
5. King Ahasuerus changed history thanks to his wife Esther.

The above are just a few cases I can sight. There are many more in the Bible. Lets now get into the real focus that is in this article. Every husband needs to recognize that he obtains favor through his wife. When your wife is unhappy there is a likelihood she shall not be able to have God release His favor through her. When you have an unhappy wife the success you are trying to achieve; is likely to escape you. It is your duty as a husband to ensure you tap God's favor and that happens through your wife. A husband that comes to this realization works on having a peaceful marriage.

Every wife needs to realize that God's favor comes upon her husband when she is found. It is the work of every wife to speak this favor into the life of her husband. She can't continue complaining about how her husband is off and blame him in totality. She needs to look deep inside herself. Is she living a life of favor to ensure God continues to release the favor God sent when she became a wife? Favor comes through humility, by asking for it. Does she seek God's favor over her husband?

To a single man out there wishing to get married. The prayer is open my eyes to find her that I receive your favor Lord. No matter the deep hole she is in. God give me the courage and tools to dig her out of the hole. Let her walk on the path I walk in that I may locate her.

To the single woman out there wishing to get married. The prayer is Lord open the eyes of my husband to locate me. Guide me to walk where he walks to make it easier for him to spot me. Also, Lord increase your favor that my husband may never run out of your favor. May I be the wife that brings immense favor over my husband. Show me how to live right to be a vessel worth your favor.

 

 

 

The line Between Destructive and Constructive Thinking

Over the last week an advertisement has been playing on the radio of a cruise ship vacation. When I first heard it, thoughts how fun it would be came through. As the advert continued, I realised I could not afford it at this moment. There are  different thoughts that one can allow to guide them about such an advertisement :

1. Who shall pay that? Don't they have better things to do with their money? People can be so wasteful. I better buy land than spend that kind of money. Why can't they donate to the poor?
2. Those that shall be on the cruise ship are really blessed. I pray God opens my doors to afford many more vacations. Better still God enlarges my territories that I own a cruise ship. 

A person that entertains thoughts "1" above limits themselves and their lives. They are persons that don't take time to understand that those that are paying have the money to pay. The people paying are prioritizing to enjoy what God created; that is the purpose of God for us. Such kind of thinking is what I consider destructive. This kind of thinking ensures one continues living a mediocre life. Its a kind of thinking that ensures one remains in poverty. A person that entertains such thoughts and claims there is God is a false believer. This is a person that practises faith with their mouth, not in their spirit. God exists in the human spirit and my thoughts would be God isn't in them.

The person that entertains thoughts "2" above is a person with true revelation. This is a person with God in them. This is a person that recognizes God's ability to change their situation. This is a person that has confidence in themselves and in the God they serve. This is a person that is capable of not only owning one cruise ship but many cruise ships. This is a person that understands the thoughts we entertain can determine where we are and who we become. This is a person that knows that when an individual takes care of themselves, they can take care of others.

Yes, people are suffering and others are enjoying life. Let us not be bitter when others are enjoying and we are in pain. Let us not be bitter when others are being blessed and we seem to be harvesting curses. Let us not be bitter when others are celebrating and we are mourning. Let us not be bitter when others are thriving in riches and we are wallowing in poverty. It is not our duty to make them feel guilty for their blessings. There is what they did to be where they are. If not, there is what someone else did to ensure they are where they are. Its time for us to get deep in prayer and action. A prayer that God directs us to discover our true purpose and gifts that we begin reaping the benefits. When we are mourning and others are celebrating its time to ask God to get us through that phase and take us into a season of celebration.

Being bitter and jealous only locks our blessings. It is said the greatest billionaires are in the grave. My thoughts are they did not take time to trust God to take them to their greatness. They were busy sitting in self-pity thinking how unlucky they are. We are all born in abundance. We are all unique persons. What I can do isn't what another can do. Take time to find your gift so that you may be celebrated as those whom you now admire found their gift and used it to be who they are. 

 

The Lies that is in Extra Marital Affairs

In Kenya, the Marriage Act, 2014 is set out in some thirteen parts. Part one is Preliminary while Part two bears the General Provisions. Parts three, four, five, six and seven deal with Christian, Civil, Customary, Hindu and Islamic Marriages respectively. Appointments of Registrar’s and Registration of Marriages are the object of Parts eight and nine. Matrimonial Disputes and Proceedings, Rights of Action and Maintenance of Spouses occupy Parts ten to twelve. Part thirteen is on Offences and Penalties while Part fourteen is on Miscellaneous provisions. The Act says that for any of the marriages– Christian, civil, customary, Hindu, Islamic- to be recognized, they must be registered (Sec 6(1)). Christian, Hindu or civil marriages are monogamous (Sec 6(2). A person in a monogamous marriage shall not contract another marriage (Sec 9(a)) Islamic and customary marriages are presumed to be polygamous or potentially polygamous (Sec 6(3). A person in a polygamous marriage shall not contract another, monogamous marriage (Sec 9(b. No one in a monogamous marriage can contract another marriage. No one in a polygamous marriage can contract a monogamous marriage (Sec 9). A marriage can be converted from potentially polygamous to monogamous if both spouses voluntarily agree (Sec 8(1))

• A husband must have only one wife at the time to convert to monogamy
• declaration witnessed by marriage officer and signed by the couple
• New certificate to converted couples

The above information is courtesy of Ochiel J Dudley a Legal Researcher via the link: http://kenyalaw.org/kenyalawblog/highlights-of-the-marriage-act-2014/. One can also download the Gazetted law and read more details about the legal understanding of marriage in Kenya and the processes involved. Let us now get to the topic of interest with this understanding.

I have often heard and read of cases of ladies saying the man I am dating is married but he has said he is taking me on as a second wife. The question to ask as a woman is what kind of marriage is he in? If he is in a monogamous relationship, please know that he is lying. He cannot take you as his second wife and legally because the law forbids him. Ask him to divorce his wife because that is the only way you shall have the title of wife, legally. If however, he is in a polygamous marriage, he can marry you as his second wife. Please act from a point of knowledge, not ignorance. A man will claim to love a woman he is dating and still love his wife. This gets me all confused. In this day and age, a man who loves the woman in his life would never dare have any relations with another woman. This is because he knows the dangers involved in this affair. The likelihood of him infecting the women he claims to love with cervical cancer is very high. Before you engage a man who you are sure is sleeping with another woman, ask yourself, is that woman cervical cancer-free? Perhaps even engage her to know if she has gone through a pap smear. Seek to know whether this man loves you or actually wants to take the two women to the grave and find himself another. 

I have also heard and read cases of married men who have claimed that the Mpango Wa Kando (MWK) took all their money and used it to finance the man she later married. The lie in all this is the married man chooses to believe that this woman loves only them. As a married man, you go home to your wife. Does it not occur to you that this woman gets lonely when you are not around? Women were created for companionship. Do you take a moment to ask yourself who is your woman's companion when you are busy with another woman? How long are you willing to entertain this lie? Or is it that the woman you leave at home when you are in the arms of another doesn't have a right to be in the arms of a man? Doesn't she have a right to be told the things you tell another woman? 

It is unfortunate that we continue to lie to each other. Persons that engage in extramarital affairs have no love for themselves and no love for those they chose to have the affairs with. They are simply utterly selfish persons with no moral standing. They are the reason cervical cancer continues to kill women. It’s time to understand what self-love is. When you welcome a man involved with another woman you are simply saying I am ready to die. In my view, this is a slow suicide mission. When as a man you entertain a woman when you have another you are slowly saying I am fine being a murderer. Yes, you are simply on a mission to bring death to women. It is about time we put an end to all these lies. Those in polygamous relationships seek to also understand the health of the persons involved. 

A message to the Singles Looking forward to Marriage.

Thursday is famously known as Throw Back day. It is the day set aside to remember the things or people that happened in the yesteryears. Today as I was going to work, the radio played songs that took me down memory lane. The first to play was "Gaou" by Magic System. Years back this song would take me to the dance floor and I would dance to it like there was no tomorrow. Don't give me that look. This girl loves dancing even to date. Good music is enjoyed while dancing to its tune is my philosophy.  The second song that played was "Sitting Down Here" by Lene Marlin. The song would play in my house over and over when I had gotten hurt out of love. If you read my articles however, this view, someone hurt me, has since changed. No one hurt me. I now know I didn't know the right way to love and be loved. The hurt was self-inflicted by having expectations of another person. I have since realized the only person I should expect from is God and myself. It has been a very peaceful realization. The last song that played before I alighted was "All The Man I Need" by Whitney Houston. This song brought me to the present day. It no longer hurts to love. Its time for me to love right and be loved right. Back to the topic.

The question that was in my mind before I got married was: will I ever get married? I hated starting all over again; when things didn't happen as I hoped they would. It put me down and thoughts of perhaps I was meant to be single forever were consoling. I would entertain them and get comfortable but it was short-lived comfort. The need to be a companion would arise and I would get into the dating game. The reason why we dated and eventually broke up was that we didn't see marriage partners in each other. That is why it never worked out. Dating is meant to be a process of networking and making friends. Not all dates lead into courtship and not all courtships lead into marriage. Some people date, skip courtship and get married. The secret is to enjoy the process until you find your match. The person that sees a life companion in us eventually comes.

When a relationship takes a turn you didn't expect, seek closure then move on. It sometimes takes longer to find the right person because we don't seek to improve ourselves. We imagine the fault was the other person. We improve ourselves when we know what was good and bad in the relationship. Think of it as a postmortem of a dead relationship. That is how to mourn the dead relationship. That ensures it finally rests in peace. While the good is to be celebrated and retained, the bad needs to be done away with.

Don't allow yourself to get into another relationship before you have fully cleaned yourself off the previous one. Doing that would be like changing clothes without taking a bath after a long day's work. Forgetting that it is not the clothes that make us dirty, its the body that makes the clothes dirty. When we clean our bodies and change the clothes then we are properly groomed. We become refreshed. A shower welcomes new thinking. A dirty body in clean clothes, on the other hand, makes a dirty person in totality.No change is bound to come.

It would also be important to check the clique of friends you keep. When I constantly surrounded myself with married people,  it reminded me of what I was missing. Questions of when would I get married and enjoy what my friends were enjoying would play on and on. While It is good to get a feel of what it would be like to have that which we desire, it can also be ones undoing. Get more involved with what single people are doing. Surrounding yourself with single people will ensure you meet single people and increase your chances of getting married. Hanging around married people while you are single especially of the opposite sex increases the chances of dating married people. I consider dating a married person utterly selfish. Pure lack of self-love. But hey that is just Mrs. Waleopard K thoughts right??

When and Why good things happen to bad people.

We live in an interesting society. Thieves and murderers who are known are walking free. Some because of lack of sufficient evidence and some guess have not been discovered. In the same society, innocent people are in jail because evidence was found that incriminated them. They are serving a sentence. 

I have seen good people get incurable diseases and unfortunately die. While those who are trouble to the society continue to enjoy good health. I once read of a person that died of lung cancer and had never smoked any cigar. In the same world, a chain smoker doesn't get even a cold. 🤷🤷 . Or a careless driver survives and all passengers die. There are cases of I was almost robbed. I was almost killed. I was sodomized and raped. Not because I did something or didn't do anything. I was simply going about my normal duties. Not because the devil and me are one. In fact when it comes to service to God, I am it. It is terrible right? Why then do the good suffer?

For those that read the Bible, they know God's people weren't immune to suffering. The Son of God too wasn't immune. If anything He was crucified yet He is the Son of God. God allowed it to happen. Look at Moses, Joseph, David, Elijah, Sarah, Esther. The list is endless. They too suffered.  Let's get to the understanding of suffering.

Good people have bad things befalling them to remind them of the suffering in the world. Imagine if you were good and got to experience only good things. 🤔 I tend to think one would get comfortable and forget that suffering exists. Imagine if the bad people experience only bad things. They would never think there is a God that loves them. That is why we read testimonies of people who were thieves.  They however turned their lives around when they escaped the hands of death.  That is why we see good people suffering and manage to sail through it. The conclusion can only be their goodness came through for them.

When something bad happens to you or almost happens to you, it's not time to ask why me. It's time to get into thanksgiving. A moment to thank God for reminding you to pray over the evils in the world. It's time to seek God.  The God that had given you rest over evil shall give you victory over evil. Remind yourself that God is using you as a vessel to bring Himself glory. He created us to serve Him not to serve ourselves. 

That is why you were almost raped, killed, robbed or suffered from a life threatening disease and God saved you. To remind you to pray for the evils. Not to get into a pity party. Rise up from the thoughts of I can't imagine that almost happened to me. It almost happened but God prevented it from happening. He prevented it for you to pray that it doesn't happen to another person. It happened to you because God knew and knows you are strong enough to handle that which you could be going through. Rise up and thank God for reminding you to pray not just for yourself but the evils in the world.