10 THINGS MEN AND WOMEN SHOULDN'T FAIL TO DISCUSS AND AGREE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

1.  SEX.
While some get married virgins majority don't. Ensure you are comfortable enough to a point that you can share your sexual fantasies and preferences. Discuss the things you can do to spice up your bedroom matters. If you adventurous and like to experiment ensure your partner knows. It's sad to be in a union where you can't satisfy each other sexually. Hence the reason for many infidelity.

2.FINANCES
Many ignore this and that is when you will hear one spouse complaining their partner is extravagant. How would someone know the demands that can wait when they don't know how much their partner earns? How can two people share their bodies , have children but can't talk about money.

3. IN-LAWS
Like it or not they can't be ignored and somehow they will meddle directly and in directly.I hear people say my partner takes all their money to their family or my partner doesn't want me to support my family. Agree on how to balance. For example set money in your budget and divide equally to help in-law calls.

4. RELIGION
This comes if you come from different religions or denominations. The children have to he brought up in a certain beliefs. This moulds your children.

5 WHERE TO LIVE
Coming from different backgrounds the likelihood is that each has had an experience and there would be places that may offer discomfort. By talking it's easy to find balance.

6. DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS
Love isn't enough. A whole complete companion is what one needs. By understanding your partners goals and ambitions you will help each other achieve them. Also you will understand how not to be an obstacle for your partner. If you do they recent you.

7.BILLS
How do you pay your bills? Who pays what? How do you grow and save for a common goal?

8. FRIENDS
Some partners feel one is spending too much time with them. Plan to agree on times to see them that doesn't interfere with family time. Also  there will be friends who are of bad influence.

9. HOBBIES
Marriage doesn't mean stopping to do the things they love. If one loves football and another soaps find a way that doesn't prevent one from enjoying their hobby. support each other and try to understand why your partner loves something.

10. VACATIONS
Come on you need to get time off just to enjoy each other's company.

Always remember communication is the key to building a proper relationship. NBM never solves anything. Only creates room for the devil to converse in your marriage.

30 RULES FOR CHANGED MEN

1. Remember you are the head of the household and so if your marriage is failing it is because your leadership has failed Eph5:23

2. Seek to always understand your wife and that way you shall have a peaceful household. Proverbs 15:14

3. Always remember your wife longs only for your touch and your desire should only be for her. You therefore have a duty to ensure she is sexually satisfied SS 7:10

4. Never forget to tell your wife how much you love her each day of your life and shower her with sweet things and words combined. Women love security in love and all aspects. SS 2:5

5. Don’t forget your wife needs to cuddle with you in bed before and after you make love SS 2:6

6. Don’t do things for the sake of doing them, rather seek wise counsel Eph5:15

7. Never forget the words her father gave to you when giving you his daughter’s hand in marriage. For in doing this you are reaping curses Proverbs 15:5

8. Always remember to maintain balance between work and family. Don’t neglect your family because of work. Proverbs 23:4

9. Learn to listen to your wife when she is speaking to you about the ills that you are doing that are causing her heartache. Remember your continued bad behavior will lead to your death Proverbs 15:10

10. Remember anger will not get your wife and children to respect you. If anything they shall continually despise you. Learn to control your anger Proverbs 15: 18

11. It is always right to talk to your wife about the plans you have that affect the family. Even simple things as changing your barber Proverbs 15:22

12. Rem your wife requires out door sessions away from the norm. Take charge of giving her a new sexual experience. SS 7:12

13. Learn to be content with what your wife gives you. Seeking adventures outside only brings trouble to your home. Even in thoughts don’t desire other women and maintain your desire for your wife only Proverbs 15 :26

14. Seek to satisfy your wife’s hunger and that will open doors of sweetness in your way Proverbs 27:7

15. Never forget that what you give to your wife she will double it. Give her sorrow and you get double sorrow, joy double joy. The choice is yours Proverbs22 :8

16. Don’t let your relatives come between you and your wife. Seek to defend her as she is your flesh now. And what harms her harms you too. Eph 5: 31

17. Always remember your wife is your closest friend and neighbor. Seeking advice from relatives far from you doesn’t provide the best outcome Proverbs 27:10

18. Always remember to maintain purity in your house. The minute you stain it with adultery there begins your down fall Proverbs 15:6

19. Never forget it is your duty to pray for your children. Don’t abandon that role Lamentations 2:19

20. Always remember it is your duty to discipline your child in the best way possible for if you don’t correct him you are slowly killing him Proverbs 23:13

21. Choose your friends wisely. Keep away from friends that talk ill of your family and friends who advise you to stay up late while your wife is home waiting for you Proverbs 23:1

22. Seek to be a hardworking man and never allow yourself to be idle for in so doing you continually decay your household Eccle 10:18

23. Seek to give the woman you love the best. She is your queen don’t shy from declaring it among your people. She shouldn’t suffer when you have the strength to change the situation Esther 2:18

24. Do not continue to abuse of alcohol, indulge in too much meat eating and partying. If you do this will be a first class ticket lead to poverty. Proverbs 23:21

25. Never forget its your duty to guard your home and provide security to your wife and child(ren) Luke 11:24

26. Don’t indulge in whores and give into women who seduce you in any way. For in so doing you will only sink in deep misery. The joy is only short lived but the misery lasts longer Proverbs 23:27

27. Seek to love your wife. The best way to love her is to understand her love language and also observe the things that make her happy. Remember loving her wrong only means you hate yourself Eph 5:28

28. Remember it is your duty to toil and provide for your family. Never abandon that role and leave it for your wife. Gen 3:17

29. Don’t forget to take good care of yourself. Your wife too needs a smart man around her and will be proud having you by her side and will declare proudly to others when you presentable. SS 5:10-16

30. Never forget to seek wisdom from God to govern your family because only he can provide it and while at it ensure you maintain your purity because it’s a sure way of getting to where you need to be. Proverbs 15:29

Hoho's ( Capsicums) For Sale

Sometimes last year, I ventured into farming, well after the melons I ventured into planting hohos then came the first harvest. The first harvest didnt have many to pick but I can confirm to you that the size was big enough. Those that will be sold to you at 20 bob per piece. So anyway it was decided that we better off selling for ourselves rather than selling from the garden. And there came the drama and lesson for today.

My cousins and I decided to do a boot sale of hohos. We were five of us and each had a role to play. See one of my cousin's was shy and couldn't announce the price to the public. He chose to stay in the car but he was the only one among us who has mastered the car well and ensured we moved where the market was. There were two who were super active and had made fun and got most sales; they actually took a bunches to sell away from us. Next to the car my other cousin ensured i had security and also made few attempts to call the customers when i challenged him. I have to say his presence gave me courage to call the customers from far to come buy. At the end of the day we sold all the produce we had and each went to home feeling proud. Thinking about that gave me the lesson for the day today.

See friends we all have our strengths, while some are able to vocally express themselves, others can't. In a family for example don't expect that one child will have the same abilities as the other. In a relationship for example don't expect your past boy or girl friend will have the same abilities as your current. Recognising this fact will enable us embrace each other and achieve a common goal. When we set each other free to do what we are good at, its when we are most likely to get the best results.

P.s I was really proud of my cousins and love them to bits.

My Sufuria of Ugali

I don't know about you but for me ugali is one of the fastest dish to prepare.More so when i don't have to prepare the stew & just take with milk or yogurt; I am sorted.So yesterday was one such days when i needed a quick meal.After eating one has to wash the dishes ,right ? Well as we know the Sufuria we use to make ugali is hard to clean immediately and requires us to soak it in water for sometime . I soak mine overnight and clean it in the morning.

Which brings me to today's lesson of the day.Some of us have been through so much pain and heart ache we have become hardened like the Sufuria that just cooked ugali. No matter how much a genuine person comes along our way to wash off the dirt from us to make a new meal we choose to remain with the dirt. Isn't it time we soak ourselves with love for oneself and desire to get the best? Until we let go of all pain and heart ache we will never be able to see genuine people in our life. Lets take time to soften ourselves that the dirt become easy to remove for a fresh meal.

Father in heaven soften our hardened hearts that we may be open to receive and offer genuine feelings. Help us to heal our past heart ache and pain.Give us a fresh start oh Lord.In Jesus name we ask trusting and believing.Amen

May we all be blessed.

When it Comes when you least expect it

I love traveling and experiencing new cultures and visiting new places. Adventure is what a majority of us call it. A friend called me and asked to meet with me early in the evening. When the time came it was off to a Brazilian restaurant.  Totally not what i was expecting but i thought to myself there is always a first time for everything. If i manage to embarrass myself , next time i will know the dos' and don't s.

Lucky for us we were oriented on how the serving takes place. There was a card to show when to be served and when not to be served. All the good and proper service all in one afternoon. I went from a kibanda service to a proper orderly service. We were to eat to our fill different varieties of meat. I had never eaten crocodile, turkey and rabbit meat and all that i got to taste in one evening.

When i went back home and did a reflection the message was all clear. It can all happen in an instant. All that you have been missing on can come to you all at once. When you least expect it things can make a turn around. The important thing to do is to go about life understanding that just because those around you seem to be where you have never been doesn't mean they are better. Your time to have it will come and what you think you have been missing out on will be history.

And you who feels you have it all don't look down on those that don't have it all. Life has a way of bringing leverage to us.

Have a lovely weekend ahead

Lessons of life:

1. You are an original so don't try to be a photocopy of another person.

2. Education has been said to the key to success but truth is discovering what you good at is the key to wealth.

3. To make it in life it's about the attitude you have of yourself.

4. When you can learn to silence the negative voices in your head & replace I can't with I can you become better each day.

5. Learn to build bridges not burn them. Respect everyone because with the rotation of the earth you never know where another person may be.

6. The greatest obstacle towards scaling high is yourself.

7. Appreciate the little things in life you'll live a more happy life.

8. Failing is part of living and learning the only mess is to let it define you a failure

9. No idea is a bad idea. Everything can be Good or bad  it's all about which eye and side you focus on. Define your focus.

10. God is the constant in your life so learn to commit your ways to him always.

The Battle in the Mind

Often times I am looking to inspire through daily life experiences. They come every so often and charging myself to write just doesn't work. I struggle to do even the smallest task lately. See growing up that wasn't me, I have always been this charged small girl who knew her routine very well. I never lived in fear and well I was in the nest of my mother and lets just say things were working in the direction that I set out to go. 

Lately however all that seemed to have been crushed down and positive affirmations seem to just pass me by. I look at my life and sometimes see a dead end like someone trapped and unable to breath. But what is it that is really trapping me I may ask? Well , well its my mind. I try to contain the thoughts running in my head but they are just too many. I want it to stop but it just keeps going on  and on and its a fearful moment for me. 

Yes friends the battle that is in the mind is one that can paralyse you. It disables you from doing even small little tasks. A struggle that not many understand , some will even advocate that you take another path but see the path isn't the one that is wrong, its the thinking. No matter the path one chooses to run to if they have the wrong thinking then they will be doomed to experience the same if not a worse fate than the one they are currently going through. 

You want to your life to move in a different direction, well my friends its going to have to start with directing your thoughts. I will conclude by saying that the secret to having the life you desire is conquering the battles in the mind that limit you. So yes I am having mind battles that I am working on, decide to take the journey and lets emerge victorious. 

 

Forget Don't Fix It!!

Habari ,Muriega ,Chamge ,Nango ,Muugeni ,Bunyande ,Gutten Morgen ,Good morning/afternoon children of the Most High God? Christmas is drawing closer its actually 1week to Christmas  Blessed in deed we are to have come this far. 2015 has been a blessed year for me and for that I am indeed grateful.

Today I want us to focus on a lesson I have reflected on this afternoon. On Friday, Grace woke up and just as she usually does she went and switched the radio on. The radio helps in waking me up and making noise in the dead quite house.So anyway for some reason the frequency wasn't clear and I decided to try and fix the frequency.The frequency wouldn't budge and the speakers were failing. Could this be the dying moment for my radio? I thought to myself. But before I sang fare well be thee to my radio I  decided to check another frequency and wallah! the radio was so loud even NEMA would have charged me for noise pollution.The music in the other station was so good in fact I got to dance to some all time hits that my usual station could never play. That not withstanding I kept tuning back to my normal station and the result was same as before. So finally I decided to let it go and enjoy this new found treasure.

Which brings me to today's lesson,Forget it don't Fix it Monday.Many are the times we keep going back to our past trying to enjoy what we used to enjoy. Not seeing the good that the present has and enjoying it instead. Many are the times we waste so much time fixing the past in the hope that it will bring the same good results. Well enough is enough!

 Lets let go of our past.God is giving us new lands to plant in and the harvest is great. But if we keep going back to our past we will waste too much valuable energy and time which would be used to increase the harvest of the new land.Forget and move on don't fix what you cannot.Learn from your past and let go.

May God bless us all and help us to let go of our past and enjoy the future. May He bring healing to our land Kenya and help her people not use the past to revenge in the present.Amen.

From a Teacher to a Minister

Good morning my friends its truly a beautiful day that God has given to us. Waleopard is a trained teacher by profession and she has been brought up by a teacher too. Teachers are known to be strict with their children and well ,yes speaking, from experience mother raised me strictly. Some say i am very strict , now you know why. This means i respect teachers very much and this article doesn't mean i think less of teachers.

So anyway not too long ago i met a former colleague from a school I went for my teaching practise. Apparently he left teaching went on to be employed elsewhere and is now a minister thanks to the devolved system of government.It was great hearing the road he has travelled to be the person he is right now. Yes life has a way of presenting us with opportunities and it is those that grab it that move up the ladder. That is what i gathered from talking to my former colleague.
 
In addition I further got the insight in the truth that" usiwache mbachao kwa msala upitao"(Don't leave the toilet you used to help yourself dirty) Yes friends lets not look down on each other based on wherever someone is in the current. With dreams and visions to be improve oneself; people are able to soar higher. We all can be a different person from the person we are today. Taking and making the right choices today determines our tomorrow. Our today is our yesterday of tomorrow. It is what we are today that makes our future. So lets not be afraid to soar higher we can make a total transformation.

The former President Moi was a teacher before he became a president. I came to learn that the Late Njenga Karume started as a charcoal burner and seller. Let us respect and serve all people equally wherever we are placed to work. We do not know who they will be in the future neither do we know where our paths will cross next.

May God Bless us all.

 

 

The Shoes Lesson

Since Friday last week, I have done nothing but reflect on how precious and fragile life is. I also thought about Heroes and Heroines in my life. All these reflections have made me spend time making new discoveries and taking bold steps towards things that I have wanted to do in a long time. Let’s just say I have forthwith decided to make a heroine out of myself and friends everyday. When all is over, in this new path, I pray the life I will have lived will have a story tell through the ups and downs I had to endure to see the end. Enough with the by the way speech.

Sometimes back, we decided to travel and discover Kenya and let’s just say instead of discovering Kenya, I discovered shoes I figured the place I was visiting would be easy so I put on my open shoes. In my thinking, the place was to be all conducive and therefore no need to wear all weather shoes. Now that was my biggest undoing. The cars got stuck as there were hips of dust. This was new to me; I always thought cars get stuck in muddy places. At some point we had to get out of the vehicle for it to make it easy for the cars to make it passed the hips of dust. That was when I discovered I wore the wrong shoes. Fortunately for me a friend had a spare pair of rubber shoes which she lent me for the trip. Later that weekend, I visited another place and the open shoes were appropriate for the terrain. This weekend when taking the shoes to the cobbler I reflected on the incidence and realised there was a shoe lesson, which I want to share with you today.

We would all want to save on costs and perhaps have this perfect shoe that we can wear and be comfortable in for different places and occasions. But you see friends truth is there is no perfect shoe that fits all places and conditions. Different shoes come into use during certain times. I looked at it from the people I have in my life. It would be so easy and with less emotional stress if we could have all what we need in one person. However this isn't practically possible to get. Different people will be there for us during certain times in our life. There will be places and times that however much we may wish to proceed with them, they are not meant to go with us that road. 

The lesson for me to understand was that if I am going to be comfortable during the journey of life, I need to know who exactly to take with me. Not all shoes will be for all terrains. Same way not all people I have interacted with in my life will be with me in my life journey. Certain times will call for people to go separate ways, not because the relationship was faulty, but because we are taking different roads. Hope it does make sense to you and that God can give us all a deep understanding to know which people to take during certain stages in our lives.

Happy #WCW.