Single Status

Today the african world seems to judge single persons so harshly, particularly ladies who cross a certain age. So harsh that some actually will propose that the lady gets a child fathered by any man just to seem normal. So harshly that a man engaged to be married would actually deny his fiancee just to get this lady "out of her misery" So harshly that a married man would actually propose to the single to have her as his secret affair and even father her child. So harshly that the married women avoid them because they think that they are "eyeing" their husband. So harshly that the men and women in the village talk behind their back saying they are not normal. So harshly that even the pastors in the church will hold prayers because they are biwitched and that is why no man can "eye them". So harshly that a man is willing to have sex with them to cure them of their sexual desires no strings attached. So harshly that even traditions have a special name for a lady that dies having not been married. So harshly that if they prosper as a single lady its because they are a walking business. So harshly that among the children the one that isn't married is treated like an outcast.

Its time we face and accept that marriage is an institution ordained by God. And just like we were not born at the same time by the same parents, marriage doesn't happen for all at the same time. Just like we have blind people and people with sight, we cannot all be married or be parents. Just because sugar is there not everyone puts it into their tea so not everyone feels they need to be sexual to live. Let us stop glorifying things that are not in anyone's control.

Singlehood isn't a disease that needs urgent cure no matter the cost. One can be single and happy , single and miserable , married and happy , married and miserable. Happiness will not be brought by a spouse and neither will fulfillment. Only God gives fulfillment and happiness will and always has been a personal responsiblity.

I know i have touched a raw nerve and the truth is i have no apologies all the same.

A crack in my Cup

I am a lady who loves to drink hot water in the office. Don't ask why, but well because its healthy and good remedy to lose weight. So anyway I have my special cup which I use in the office for my drinks. My cup and I have established a bond and I don't feel at ease using other cups.

Unfortunately for me the other day I poured hot water into the cup and the water leaked. My cup had a crack not a serious one but well I couldn't use it to take my tea or hot water anymore. As much as it hurt I had to throw it in the bin and get a cup that would serve me as well.

Today I thought about this situation as I looked at another cup whose handle broke . I however decided to keep and use it to store my utensils super brite. I didn't see how else I would use the cup in the office hence I threw it away.  The reality that hit me was so hard for me to put in writing and I can tell you I have really struggled to write this piece.

This was my revelation- we are cups too in our day to day lives. We are useful to those that are in our life for a certain purpose. However time comes when we crack and no longer perform the task those that have had us need us to perform. As harsh as it may sound well we often get thrown in the dustbin and in this case we get kicked out of their life.

Its never that they mean to be rude but they need a functioning cup (person). Well that is why we are actually sent home on retirement. The cup I threw isn't useless if anything it can be used to keep coins or even plant a seedling but it can't perform the task it once did.

The message that came to me is that when its clear one isn't wanted the best thing is to move on to another and you will find one that needs you. The same is true for jobs. The broken cups are collected and remade into new cups. Same way sometimes we need to remould ourselves to fit into previous tasks or embrace new roles all together.

I hope this message has made sense to you. It was really a hard one for me to swallow but I received it well and thought I share