10 THINGS MEN AND WOMEN SHOULDN'T FAIL TO DISCUSS AND AGREE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

1.  SEX.
While some get married virgins majority don't. Ensure you are comfortable enough to a point that you can share your sexual fantasies and preferences. Discuss the things you can do to spice up your bedroom matters. If you adventurous and like to experiment ensure your partner knows. It's sad to be in a union where you can't satisfy each other sexually. Hence the reason for many infidelity.

2.FINANCES
Many ignore this and that is when you will hear one spouse complaining their partner is extravagant. How would someone know the demands that can wait when they don't know how much their partner earns? How can two people share their bodies , have children but can't talk about money.

3. IN-LAWS
Like it or not they can't be ignored and somehow they will meddle directly and in directly.I hear people say my partner takes all their money to their family or my partner doesn't want me to support my family. Agree on how to balance. For example set money in your budget and divide equally to help in-law calls.

4. RELIGION
This comes if you come from different religions or denominations. The children have to he brought up in a certain beliefs. This moulds your children.

5 WHERE TO LIVE
Coming from different backgrounds the likelihood is that each has had an experience and there would be places that may offer discomfort. By talking it's easy to find balance.

6. DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS
Love isn't enough. A whole complete companion is what one needs. By understanding your partners goals and ambitions you will help each other achieve them. Also you will understand how not to be an obstacle for your partner. If you do they recent you.

7.BILLS
How do you pay your bills? Who pays what? How do you grow and save for a common goal?

8. FRIENDS
Some partners feel one is spending too much time with them. Plan to agree on times to see them that doesn't interfere with family time. Also  there will be friends who are of bad influence.

9. HOBBIES
Marriage doesn't mean stopping to do the things they love. If one loves football and another soaps find a way that doesn't prevent one from enjoying their hobby. support each other and try to understand why your partner loves something.

10. VACATIONS
Come on you need to get time off just to enjoy each other's company.

Always remember communication is the key to building a proper relationship. NBM never solves anything. Only creates room for the devil to converse in your marriage.

30 RULES FOR CHANGED MEN

1. Remember you are the head of the household and so if your marriage is failing it is because your leadership has failed Eph5:23

2. Seek to always understand your wife and that way you shall have a peaceful household. Proverbs 15:14

3. Always remember your wife longs only for your touch and your desire should only be for her. You therefore have a duty to ensure she is sexually satisfied SS 7:10

4. Never forget to tell your wife how much you love her each day of your life and shower her with sweet things and words combined. Women love security in love and all aspects. SS 2:5

5. Don’t forget your wife needs to cuddle with you in bed before and after you make love SS 2:6

6. Don’t do things for the sake of doing them, rather seek wise counsel Eph5:15

7. Never forget the words her father gave to you when giving you his daughter’s hand in marriage. For in doing this you are reaping curses Proverbs 15:5

8. Always remember to maintain balance between work and family. Don’t neglect your family because of work. Proverbs 23:4

9. Learn to listen to your wife when she is speaking to you about the ills that you are doing that are causing her heartache. Remember your continued bad behavior will lead to your death Proverbs 15:10

10. Remember anger will not get your wife and children to respect you. If anything they shall continually despise you. Learn to control your anger Proverbs 15: 18

11. It is always right to talk to your wife about the plans you have that affect the family. Even simple things as changing your barber Proverbs 15:22

12. Rem your wife requires out door sessions away from the norm. Take charge of giving her a new sexual experience. SS 7:12

13. Learn to be content with what your wife gives you. Seeking adventures outside only brings trouble to your home. Even in thoughts don’t desire other women and maintain your desire for your wife only Proverbs 15 :26

14. Seek to satisfy your wife’s hunger and that will open doors of sweetness in your way Proverbs 27:7

15. Never forget that what you give to your wife she will double it. Give her sorrow and you get double sorrow, joy double joy. The choice is yours Proverbs22 :8

16. Don’t let your relatives come between you and your wife. Seek to defend her as she is your flesh now. And what harms her harms you too. Eph 5: 31

17. Always remember your wife is your closest friend and neighbor. Seeking advice from relatives far from you doesn’t provide the best outcome Proverbs 27:10

18. Always remember to maintain purity in your house. The minute you stain it with adultery there begins your down fall Proverbs 15:6

19. Never forget it is your duty to pray for your children. Don’t abandon that role Lamentations 2:19

20. Always remember it is your duty to discipline your child in the best way possible for if you don’t correct him you are slowly killing him Proverbs 23:13

21. Choose your friends wisely. Keep away from friends that talk ill of your family and friends who advise you to stay up late while your wife is home waiting for you Proverbs 23:1

22. Seek to be a hardworking man and never allow yourself to be idle for in so doing you continually decay your household Eccle 10:18

23. Seek to give the woman you love the best. She is your queen don’t shy from declaring it among your people. She shouldn’t suffer when you have the strength to change the situation Esther 2:18

24. Do not continue to abuse of alcohol, indulge in too much meat eating and partying. If you do this will be a first class ticket lead to poverty. Proverbs 23:21

25. Never forget its your duty to guard your home and provide security to your wife and child(ren) Luke 11:24

26. Don’t indulge in whores and give into women who seduce you in any way. For in so doing you will only sink in deep misery. The joy is only short lived but the misery lasts longer Proverbs 23:27

27. Seek to love your wife. The best way to love her is to understand her love language and also observe the things that make her happy. Remember loving her wrong only means you hate yourself Eph 5:28

28. Remember it is your duty to toil and provide for your family. Never abandon that role and leave it for your wife. Gen 3:17

29. Don’t forget to take good care of yourself. Your wife too needs a smart man around her and will be proud having you by her side and will declare proudly to others when you presentable. SS 5:10-16

30. Never forget to seek wisdom from God to govern your family because only he can provide it and while at it ensure you maintain your purity because it’s a sure way of getting to where you need to be. Proverbs 15:29

Hoho's ( Capsicums) For Sale

Sometimes last year, I ventured into farming, well after the melons I ventured into planting hohos then came the first harvest. The first harvest didnt have many to pick but I can confirm to you that the size was big enough. Those that will be sold to you at 20 bob per piece. So anyway it was decided that we better off selling for ourselves rather than selling from the garden. And there came the drama and lesson for today.

My cousins and I decided to do a boot sale of hohos. We were five of us and each had a role to play. See one of my cousin's was shy and couldn't announce the price to the public. He chose to stay in the car but he was the only one among us who has mastered the car well and ensured we moved where the market was. There were two who were super active and had made fun and got most sales; they actually took a bunches to sell away from us. Next to the car my other cousin ensured i had security and also made few attempts to call the customers when i challenged him. I have to say his presence gave me courage to call the customers from far to come buy. At the end of the day we sold all the produce we had and each went to home feeling proud. Thinking about that gave me the lesson for the day today.

See friends we all have our strengths, while some are able to vocally express themselves, others can't. In a family for example don't expect that one child will have the same abilities as the other. In a relationship for example don't expect your past boy or girl friend will have the same abilities as your current. Recognising this fact will enable us embrace each other and achieve a common goal. When we set each other free to do what we are good at, its when we are most likely to get the best results.

P.s I was really proud of my cousins and love them to bits.

My Sufuria of Ugali

I don't know about you but for me ugali is one of the fastest dish to prepare.More so when i don't have to prepare the stew & just take with milk or yogurt; I am sorted.So yesterday was one such days when i needed a quick meal.After eating one has to wash the dishes ,right ? Well as we know the Sufuria we use to make ugali is hard to clean immediately and requires us to soak it in water for sometime . I soak mine overnight and clean it in the morning.

Which brings me to today's lesson of the day.Some of us have been through so much pain and heart ache we have become hardened like the Sufuria that just cooked ugali. No matter how much a genuine person comes along our way to wash off the dirt from us to make a new meal we choose to remain with the dirt. Isn't it time we soak ourselves with love for oneself and desire to get the best? Until we let go of all pain and heart ache we will never be able to see genuine people in our life. Lets take time to soften ourselves that the dirt become easy to remove for a fresh meal.

Father in heaven soften our hardened hearts that we may be open to receive and offer genuine feelings. Help us to heal our past heart ache and pain.Give us a fresh start oh Lord.In Jesus name we ask trusting and believing.Amen

May we all be blessed.

When it Comes when you least expect it

I love traveling and experiencing new cultures and visiting new places. Adventure is what a majority of us call it. A friend called me and asked to meet with me early in the evening. When the time came it was off to a Brazilian restaurant.  Totally not what i was expecting but i thought to myself there is always a first time for everything. If i manage to embarrass myself , next time i will know the dos' and don't s.

Lucky for us we were oriented on how the serving takes place. There was a card to show when to be served and when not to be served. All the good and proper service all in one afternoon. I went from a kibanda service to a proper orderly service. We were to eat to our fill different varieties of meat. I had never eaten crocodile, turkey and rabbit meat and all that i got to taste in one evening.

When i went back home and did a reflection the message was all clear. It can all happen in an instant. All that you have been missing on can come to you all at once. When you least expect it things can make a turn around. The important thing to do is to go about life understanding that just because those around you seem to be where you have never been doesn't mean they are better. Your time to have it will come and what you think you have been missing out on will be history.

And you who feels you have it all don't look down on those that don't have it all. Life has a way of bringing leverage to us.

Have a lovely weekend ahead

Lessons of life:

1. You are an original so don't try to be a photocopy of another person.

2. Education has been said to the key to success but truth is discovering what you good at is the key to wealth.

3. To make it in life it's about the attitude you have of yourself.

4. When you can learn to silence the negative voices in your head & replace I can't with I can you become better each day.

5. Learn to build bridges not burn them. Respect everyone because with the rotation of the earth you never know where another person may be.

6. The greatest obstacle towards scaling high is yourself.

7. Appreciate the little things in life you'll live a more happy life.

8. Failing is part of living and learning the only mess is to let it define you a failure

9. No idea is a bad idea. Everything can be Good or bad  it's all about which eye and side you focus on. Define your focus.

10. God is the constant in your life so learn to commit your ways to him always.